lordmetroland

You may want to consider some compression shorts to keep those Gorilla Balls captive. On short, whippy turns, you could experience a catastrophic boomerang effect...

Tracked out by every dimwit in Colorado (including me) without an EPIC pass or a competing vaccination appointment. How dimwitted? We saw three separate guys skiing in jeans. It was like they fell through a wormhole from 1981. Maybe SIJ (Skiers in Jeans, pronounced sijj) should be the new metric for kook-ness; "Today was a three SIJ day at Lovey." "Oh f*** dude, that's un-gnarly." On the bright side, me and my 12 year-old daughter laid waste to Mario Yard Land with impunity. With days like today, I'll never learn how to properly carve...

For you consideration, a pair of lightly used (<10 days) Flow NX2-GT fusion bindings. I believe they are from the 2016-17 season, but I could be mistaken (the haze of Covid has bent my conception of time). Regardless, they are the exact same damn NX2-GTs you can buy brand new for over 2X as much. Without, of course, the use. Your enemies will quake at the mere sight of the militaristic matte grey finish, like you might find on an Abrams tank. The ice blue accents give them an air of superiority, like they are looking down their nose at other, more toy-like bindings. This angle shows off the nearly unnoticeable wear under the hybrid strap. No worn spots or shearing. The soft, quilted straps are reminiscent of the interior of your father's Chevy Citation the day he drove it home off the lot. So fearsome from the profile view. You should probably keep them on a leash when you're not obliterating your adversaries with them. Seriously, if Sauron snowboarded, he'd use these. You can see a slight wear mark from when I was attacked by some mountain trolls. If you were foolish enough to catch the highback on the underside of a chairlift - unlike me, who would never do something so stupid - the NX2-GTs would simply laugh and ask for more. You'd probably pay $500 for the hormone injection that would have the same effect on your self-concept, but would wear off and leave you with nothing. Comparatively, this is a bargain.

Will his sphincter ever relax? He’ll be pooping angel hair for a month...

Maybe one of you Princess Dainty-Feet f*****s would do us all a favor and buy this thing? Chopping off my toes would get me to about a MP 25.5 soft boot which would be a nice fit for that 25.7 waist. Oh, the agony...

Ain’t that the truth. I find myself looking forward to the day my memory is so s*** that I forget I’m old...

As a diminutive, narcissistic man I use heel lifts in all my shoes to attract the ladies and intimidate my enemies. Highly recommended.

Some regional "delicacies" defy explanation - lutefisk, head cheese, sweetbreads - but have their zealous defenders...

Oh, seriously, don't tease us with descriptions but no pictures. If you solved the Achilles Heel, share it with the huddled masses yearning to ride free (of fear)!

I love the ingredients: pork, diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer. All adds up to deliciousness.

This is like going to Disneyland and grousing about the lack of fine art. If I was in Jackson, I wouldn’t be looking for corduroy...go ride the s*** out of that mountain.

Yeah, and I guess the choicest location for blockage is objectionable for other reasons, not least of which is a different form of wind...

What’s the damn point of having gorilla balls if the crew can’t shelter behind them?!?

So two people, one of whom drives the Prinoth?

Having followed your posts, I’d be hard pressed to disagree about you living a dream. Minus the morons at work and the petty bickering at home, me too!

I had a similar experience with UPZ ATBs (softest shells) and TD3s on their maiden voyage. Everything was tight in my warm basement. Got off the first chair and the lever was floppy. Not pinky-level closure, but no pressure at all. Scared the bejeezus out of me at first. Then pissed me off as I had to scramble to find a screwdriver and do the adjustment on the hill in the same cold weather that shrunk the boots. After a run or two, switched to a softie set-up and haven't revisited the TD3s since; they're reposing in my basement in the climate they seem to prefer. In the one day I've used them, the F2/ATB combo did not behave similarly. The cost of broken trust...

I’d never submit anything about my own experience as “real-world,” but regular TD3 plates would not accept my 10-11 / 303-324 UPZ ATB shells. I don’t think it was anything personal.

Since softboot carving seems to be getting a bit of attention right now, I'll conform and offer a pair of unused Flow NX2-GT fusion bindings. I believe they are from the 2018-19 season, but may have been last year's. I had mounted them to a board that I've decided to abandon, so they will soon be homeless. Neon green trim. That s*** is back in style; go ask Big Mario... I know how you discriminating carvers like to see a random object, like a coin, in the pictures for a standard of reference, so I've done my best here (Edward Gorey's cat is not included in the price). Easy entry from the rear. Relive the glory days of your Salomon SX91 Equipes! May also be used as a bobsled... All parts and packaging included; that plain corrugated box oozes elegant simplicity.

And don't be surprised if someone goads you into trying to buy something from the defunct Catek website. It won't take your money.

Congrats. Just plan on spending a bit of time fiddling with them, which is the best way to learn. Buy a s***-ton of extra hardware. Scrounge and hoard the custom bits. Refit straps and highbacks (I used Ride parts which feel interchangeable). Perpetually question whether you should move into something more current/accessible/lightweight/sensible. Be wooed back by the machined surfaces and timeless good looks...

By the time the spring thaw reveals the corpses, you’ll be miles away plucking cactus spines out of your tuchus. Pure criminal genius.

S*** is giving me the shivers. I bet the creepy-ass bear was in there somewhere too. You’re a brave man, but I’m sure the Catek haul was worth it.

Lots of weird parts found in Wisconsin over the years. By the way, what the hell was wrong with that doll, anyway?!?

I shudder to think what other "spare parts" might be found there...

Time for someone to dust off the giant, bleached mohawk...