Funniest thing you've seen on the hill?

[MUD]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

I were drinking milk, it would have just come out my nose........

[tufty]

I thought I'd already told this one, but it appears not.

It's a few years ago, and I'm working on a 3-seater chair at the bottom of the resort. Right in the middle of the school holidays, so it's packed, a good 15-20 minutes of queueing to get on at peak times. And it's a peak time.

The lift itself is *old* (it's being decomissioned this year in fact). Runs at 2.5m/s, with permanently attached chairs; it can be painful to get onto even if you know what you're doing - it gives you a vicious thwack to the calves if you're not perfectly positioned and paying attention. And we have a few technical problems, one of the "go/stop" gates isn't working, and the other two won't lock shut, so we have to have an eye on them at all times. All of which makes for some very tiring days. Anyway, back to the story.

Notice a guy approaching the gates on a softie setup, standard jibber gear, camo jacket, trousers with waisband at ankle level, studded belt, the usual, all his gear looks *absolutely brand spanking new*. And he has both feet attached, which is making his life hard given the number of people about and the fact that the approach is slightly uphill. He's also pissing a lot of people off with his hop and shuffle approach. So, wander over do the usual "this is a bit of a tough lift, it's generally recommended to detach a foot, makes it much easier to get on, you can always re-attach the second foot once you're on and the bar is down" schmooze. "Nah, do this all the time", says he (well, that, but in French.) "Okay, but be careful", say I, and don't push the matter.

So he makes it to the gate, but misses the fact that the other gates have opened, as he's at the one gate that doesn't work. Panics, big heave on the bars, shoots forwards completely out of control as the chair comes round the corner (the lift is already stopping, as I've seen what's about to happen and hit the e-stop, but these things take time), makes a heroic "save" (dive toeside, makes probably the nicest carve he's ever made in my runway) and swerves off the runway. His board stops *direct* as it hits the rubber matting, and he's catapulted face first into a big pile of snow. A bit embarassing, but not entirely his fault, and he's not been hurt by either the chair or the shovel he missed by a couple of inches. So, we restart the lift, and dig him out, tell him to go back and try again. "no, no, from the gates, don't go to the end of the queue, you've already done your queue time", I yell, but he's already gone.

So, 15 minutes later, and he's back. 2 feet still attached. I point out he should have just rejoined the line at the gates, not right at the end of teh queue, and apologise for his additional queueing time. I also make a pointed, "eyebrows raised" look at his feet, he acknowledges, I shrug, and we're ready to go. The gate opens, he doesn't want to be late, makes a massive heave on the bars, shoots down the runway and, due to the two skiers accompanying him, can't turn his board to stop - instead he continues direct into the pit at the end. I'm laughing as I help him out (I've done this particular manoevre myself), again nothing injured other than pride and another 2 minute e-stop of the lift. Back into the queue he goes, but this time I make *sure* he doesn't go to the end of the queue - 45 minutes queueing for a lift would be a bit much, after all.

So, he's back at the gates. Both feet attached, again. I make a sign to the skiers who would otherwise have gone off with him not to advance, to let him go alone. At least that way he can stop, and he'll be able to get on the damn chair; a chair with one person on is a waste, but it's better than another e-stop, especially at peak time. So, off he goes, a bit less heroic with the push-off this time, slides his board to a graceful stop at the end of the runway. Result! Except, he's stood there, with his board at 90° to the runway, body rigid, looking directly ahead. The inevitable happens; the chair arrives "unexpectedly", smacks into his calves at 2.5m/s, he digs the toeside edge of the board into the runway and is catapulted, at approximately 2.5m/s, into the pit. Another e-stop, and I go to see if he's alright. He lifts his face out of the snow and says angrily "you did that on purpose!", unstraps his board, and stomps off to the car park - I never saw him again. I would have tried to calm him down, but the "on purpose" thing had done for me, there's no way I could have spoken to him without laughing.

And now, if anyone falls in the pit, my colleagues turn round to me and say say "you did that on purpose"

The "busted gates" thing can lead to other unintended hilarity, too. Last year the trigger unit busted on another lift, leading to an instance of 8 people trying to get on a 4 seater chair...

Simon

[tex1230]

funniest thing I ever saw...guy riding a Goofy PJ mounted regular with freestyle bindings...

Sorry I can't match the level of hilarity in the above stories but I'm hung over

[dingbat]

tufty,

Hilarious!:lol: :lol: :lol:

[pebu]

At our place they won't let you get on unless you take a foot out. Which doesn't bother me. And anybody hobblin around in a full lift line like that is grounds for a solid push to the chest. He'd get the idea after he got pushed down by 4 or 5 people.

[GeoffV]

Sorry I can't match the level of hilarity in the above stories but I'm hung over

what you a depressed Jets fan? :lol:

[tex1230]

not even the most hardcore jets fan thought they had a shot...

No, I was drinking Aquavit with a Norweigan buddy...always dangerous.

[paragonUE]

ive been a jets fan for awhile. not that im all that into football,(soccers more my thing, GO MAN U) but i think theyd be better off with namath back in there, hell he cant do any worse than pennington was.

back on topic. me Dave, and a skier buddy of his were in queue for the lift, when this guy, who looked like he had never seen a mountain in his life steps into line next to us, (it was a high speed six seat chair) dave gives the signal to hang back, let some of the singles ride with this guy, but kris (afore mentioned skier) ends up next to him. me and dave were ready to get on the chair behind him, when the lift stops. the guy had his back foot strapped in and leashed, full mongo style. though he still tried to sit with his right hip first. he wasnt even half on the chair. there was a three minute wait, during which dave asked if he had ever been on a lift before. the guy assured us all he would be fine, he righted himself in the seat. just before unloading at the top, dave says, "five dollars he doesnt make it", sure enough he made it, and no one recieved 5 dollars.

[Dave ESPI]

Saw 2 girls carving in opposite dirrections, one goofy, one regular, and they crossed right infront of eachother, and while screaming, they were reaching out and hugged eachother.... in the process, created a whirlwind effect of their boards lifting up off the ground and they spun about 180 degrees in teh air and on their bellies to complete a complete 360 carve in the snow around them

Looked like a "69" in the snow from my vantage point on the lift... LOL

[utahcarver]

A couple of seasons ago I was riding the lift and watching everyone else come down a perfect groomed run. The sides of the run were ungroomed tracked. This kid on ski blades is going very fast down the fall line and suddenly veers to the side of the run.

Instead of absorbing the transition to the ungroomed snow he stuck the tips of the blades into the abrupt change in snow conditions and proceeded to cartwheel 3 or 4 times into the trees. Kid was unhurt. It looked very funny until I blew beer foam through my nose.

Mark

[ecnalubma]

Way back in the day I was riding with a skier buddy, who as I remember was a pretty good skier, (mostly because he reminded me quite often). We had just come off the steepest part of " valley veiw " (hidden valley NJ) and were right next to each other, out of the corner of my eye I see him disapear. A get myself stopped , turn around to see what happend, and there's no sign of him. I unstrapped and started hiking back up and I notice some skiis leaned up against the wooden fence, I take a couple steps and realize he's still in his skiis, tips on the trail, tails on top of the fence, head through the recently relocated fence. Totally unhurt, completely hysterical. I sure wish we all had cell phone cameras back then, from the back side of the fence he looked like a hunting trophy!!

[Silver Bullet]

I was at Solitude on Saturday riding up the Powderhorn Lift while chatting with a teleski buddy. My ankle started itching, so, in a momentary lapse of reason, i reached down and wiggeled the intec strap. When that did not ease the itch, i pulled.... Then proceeded to watch my board sail the 50 plus feet through the air before burying in the snow. Luckly at the top the ski lift operator and patrol thought I was an idiot skier;-) I had to wait at the top of the hill while my buddy skied down to the cirque to retrieve my board.

[NateW]

Today....

Him: Whoah, what is that?

Me: It's a carving setup.

Him: What's it for?

[utahcarver]

Nate: Verrrry funny. LMAO!

[carverchick]

[Chris]

Him: How does that thing work?

Me: Really well!

Him: Do you like snowboarding too?

Me:

[carverchick]

I was riding my Prior Pow Stick this past weekend up in the UP and this girl comes up to me and asks what was the split tail for and is it like a surf board. Pfffft!

[willywhit]

I've been saying this for years....Those FANNYPACKS are DANGEROUS !

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[carverchick]

Ok that just made me shutter.

I've been saying this for years....Those FANNYPACKS are DANGEROUS ! :smashfrea

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[EnisiWaya]

The things instructors do when bored mid week is always going to be a laugh!!

Ten maybe Twelve years ago When I first had Patrick (my protegee and now snowboard super at Ragged) at the mountian he had early release from High school to teach at the mountain. I had my PJ 63 slalom board and he had a 154 (I think) Rossi slalom. The Famous John Barker was coaching us and we decided to go for full loops on the trail in front of the main lodge. All was going well for the first two weeks in spite of lots of black and blues. His mother, a close friend would have killed me if she knew he was all black and blue. I have always been his "bad uncle " influence since he was in my Cub Scout pack.

Now as an aside, early slalom boards had one big problem in those days. If the packed powder had a soft layer underneath you could easily overpower the nose of the board and auger the nose back into the snow as you started to go back up the hill coming out of the bottom of the turn. LOL and Yeah!!!!!

We decided we were going to do a video demo for the mountain of full loops side by side twenty feet apart. Doing well for the first week in spite of lots of crashes going through the top and even more black and blues.

Then we get some new snow. They groomed it and we got the marketing manager to come out to video us. Well, we made it through the top and made our first loop. Then we went to loop back up on toe side. Just as we came out of the bottom we got confused on who was to be on the outside. The boards clipped edges and we both augered in.

Now as you know when that happens you do not fall down the hill. You go straight out then fall straight down. It's the funiest thing I have ever seen on video. It was as if we we shot out of a cannon climbing in altitude at 15 or more degrees above horizontal and then we just fell straight down on our backs side by side ten feet apart. Knocked the wind out of both of us. Barker calmly rides up to us and says neat trick can you do it again on the weekend for the customers?

We watched the video for weeks. Loosing it laughing every time. Unfortunately the general manager borrowed the camera at the end of the season and recorded over it. The idiot marketing manager never made a copy.

Chase

P.S. On a good note for us HBs. Got the Ski instructor staff Really good this weekend. I was clinicing eight of the returning staff members. They were going through lesson presentations on a blue summit trail on the back shoulder of the MT. There is fairly long flat section part way down. So the guy I had teaching says let's burn it on the flat and regroup at the end of it. Well just after The flats start an expert trail called the Headwall drops off the top of the front side and into the Blue trail. I had enough mountain left from where we were and I was on my 173 Rossi GS board.

I cranked it up and then turned up straight up the headwall on a nice blistering heel turn. Went up it about 100 ft or so and popped a hammerhead turn at the top. Well just as I went up, a group of 12 clinicing Ski instructors meet me coming up at them as fast as they were coming down. YARD SALED ALL BUT TWO OF THEM!!!!!!!!! You should have heard the language! The head ski trainer ( one of two who didn't yard sale) just calmly said shut up! He was below us on the mountain and HE had the right of Way!!!!!

Thanks LT!!!!!!!

[NateW]

Him: How does that thing work?

Me: Really well!

Him: Do you like snowboarding too?

Me:

Him: Ever tried a real snowboard?

Me: I was just about to ask you the same thing!

(I'm still really proud of that one.)

[NateW]

The head ski trainer ( one of two who didn't yard sale) just calmly said shut up! He was below us on the mountain and HE had the right of Way!!!!!

Delicious.

[Corey]

Not as funny, but an interesting observation:

Has anyone else noticed a fair number of people with directional freeride boards riding them backwards? Imagine a goofy rider on his/her buddy's regular board. I thought they were just riding switch until I saw them getting on the lift with their 'front' foot out and going backwards. Seen this about 15 times this season...

The ski hill rental shop also likes to just rotate the bindings to change if a board is regular or goofy, too bad the bindings aren't centered on the board!

[carvedog]

Not as funny, but an interesting observation:

Has anyone else noticed a fair number of people with directional freeride boards riding them backwards? Imagine a goofy rider on his/her buddy's regular board. I thought they were just riding switch until I saw them getting on the lift with their 'front' foot out and going backwards. Seen this about 15 times this season...

The ski hill rental shop also likes to just rotate the bindings to change if a board is regular or goofy, too bad the bindings aren't centered on the board!

What I love about these geniuses is the dragging leash that should be attached to the intended front foot. When I explain that it can slide under the edge and pitch them down on the snow, there is always a light bulb moment where you can see them thinking "That is why I fell down 143 times on that last run". Most of the blame with the rental shop for sure. But I have had peeps show up for lessons, claiming they can turn both ways and still not know which foot to put in first.

:smashfrea:smashfrea:smashfrea:smashfrea

[Petrol]

Like most everyone else, I've got plenty of tales but then one I'll share here would have to have been even better as seen through the eyes of my friend since childhood John, his sister and their parents.

you see, it was they who introduced me to skiing by asking, "We're going skiing this weekend do you want to come?" and of-course, "YES!" was my response.

Cut to saturday morning in the lift line heading up to the top of the "black-diamond" run at pittifully small Alpine Valley. Having decided to meet back at the same lift, we loaded up. John's foks and sister first a few other folks, and finally John and I. Unloaded went, well, I stood up, slid down the lil unloading hump, turned downhill.

I don't remember yelling, but appearantly I was hootin up a storm as I sailed past everyone on that hill, propably at a speed that none of them had ever before seen.

Needless to say, I was easily the first one back to the lift line.

Where I hit all the assembled folks like a perfectly rolled bowling ball. Had to have been 30 people laid out on the snow and the only person left standing.

as one angry patron struggled to his feet he yelled, "wtf did you learn how to ski?" my innocent & honest 14 yr old shoulder shrugging reply, "tv" caused even the old grump to burst into laughter.

I had no idea that I did know how and never had the first doubt in my mind about it... right up until the point of impact :o