Epic moments is sliding history

[Sean]

Now that we have are closing in on the half century mark with posts on binding angles, perhaps its time for some comic relief. Might I suggest a new thread on epic moments in sliding history. I'll kick it off with a couple of my most memorable moments:

1st memorable moment: Teaching a ski lesson at Eldora back in the early 80's. Springtime, sunshine, BBQ on the deck and Reggae tunes thumping. I have my group of adoring acolytes lined up behind me following their way cool Vuarnet clad, corduroy CB jacket wearing instructor down to the lodge. I whip around to check on their progress and proceed to ski backwards into and take out about 50 yards of orange fencing. I quickly look up to assess how bad my cool factor has been tarnished only to see my ski school supervisor and the director of the hill standing on the deck directly above and shaking their heads at me. They were obviously enamored with my superb impression of a fork twirling a neon bed of linguine.

Honorable mention: At SES a few years ago at Beaver Creek. Sean Martin hands me a brand new unmarked deck and tells me to ride it- new secret skunk works project that he needs feedback on- but won't tell me what it is. Run into Lowell Hart (carving guru, author, examiner). Ride lift with him and have a great chat about alpine technique. Ride down the hill with him and after about three turns, start doing a combination of eskimo rolls and spin outs most of the way down the hill. Later find out professor Martin was experimenting with new epoxies, and obviously I was the crash test dummy, because the epoxy gave up the ghost right quick after about the first turn (BTW- Sean chucked that project.) Bet Lowell was impressed...

Anyone else want to narc on themselves with other memorable moments?

[Ginsu]

3 friends and I were at Bolton Valley, VT. We decided to "race" down the mountain. Out of the 3 I had the most board time and was tie with one of the other guys. There's a trail called Cobrass which has a sharp 90deg turn in it. We both turned the corner together with the 3rd guy a few feet behind. The next thing we heard was a loud scream. We both stopped and noticed our buddy was gone! We plodded back up the hill and found him over the side of the cliff/trail and in the trees down a ways. He was going so fast and was to new to make the turn he never had a chance! That was the end of his day. No major brain damage, just bruised and battered.:(

My other one is me at Timberline, OR and running down the left side of Magic mile lift line going about XXmph to fast and loving the roller coaster hills. Suddenly as I neared the lodge I was launched into the air many feet. I have no idea how high I was but it was a good few seconds air time. Needless to say at that speed and the fact I never expected it, I landed completely off balance and on my stomach. That was the end of my day and basically through my confidence in going fast, still recovering I think! Anyway I've never really been injured other then bruised ribs and sore wrists.

Thank GOD!

[D-Sub]

err...theyre supposed to be funny, no? those arent funny at all! glad no one got hurt

ridin my PJ7 at steamboat midweek...used to just ride straight on to the priest creek chair (I think that was it. forgot...)

anyway...came roarin in one day, undid my toe clamp without stoppin, cruised up to the lift point still carryin a bit o' speed

went to set my back foot down to stop, and..uh...it was a bit slick.

right leg went UP followed by my whole body basically...lifties were just CRACKING up, said I looked like a cartoon character that had slipped on a banana peel.

I didnt get hurt, cept my pride

[tufty]

Last January. Day off work. Dumping snow. Grab freeride setup. After an hour or so, realise that playing in the powder would be nicer if I could see beyond the front of the board, so decide to go lower and get out of the cloud at least. Have to take a drag lift that goes up to go down, and just off the side of it is a big jump the local kids have made that I've not had the 'bottle' to do yet. Decide that there's nobody to see me make a fool of myself, and the snow is deep enough that I'm not going to hurt myself, so let's go for it. Get to the top of the drag, and there's a group of tourists poring over a slope map trying to work out how the hell to get somewhere they can see. So I give them directions, then belt off full speed in the direction of the jump. Which I miss by about 3 feet, and end up neck-deep in a bowl full of powder. "bugger", say I as I dig down to unclip the board and scramble out. As I'm extricating myself, the 5 tourists all arrive in exactly the same hole; they have decided to follow me instead of my instructions (resort jacket, after all, so the guy _must_ know where he's going). Of course, at that exact moment, the cloud clears for an instant and I see a couple of the patrol boys going past, laughing their heads off.

Or

First day working at the resort. Board on, go for a play at lunchtime. First drag lift of the day, 'Le Quezet' for those that know Praz. Say hello to the Bubu, guy who drives it, "See you in 10 minutes and we'll go for a coffee". Grab perch, haven't realised it's the most monstrously violent lift in the history of humanity - fly the first 2 or 3 metres, dig the front in on landing, somersault and undignified landing. Bubu is in fits of laughter.

Or

Same lift. Early one January morning, day off, go up with the patrollers. About 3 feet of powder. I open the slope. Which is a blast. Virgin puff. Except at the bottom of the steepest bit, right in mid-turn, full speed, is a groomer track. Manage to load up the front of the board enough to not fall over, start to breathe a sigh of relief then hit a 3 foot wall of snow with the front loaded, still mid-turn. Blam thump undignified snowballing. Pick self up to see 3 patrollers going up the lift not 10 feet away. Laughing fit to bust. So I'm digging around for my goggles, one of the patrol boys comes down to see if I'm alright, does exactly the same thing as I did, and we spend a happy hour looking for his lost ski before calling a groomer to take the 'edge' off the track :-)

Simon

[surfinsmiley]

I was learning in Japan last season and saw a little Japanese girl doing the most unnatural snowboarding thing I`ve ever seen.

I crashed and was in the process and getting myself up out of the snow when I hear this giant screaming noise coming from uphill of me.

I turn out just in time to get cleaned up by this 40kg girl riding her board down the hill.........on her stomach........I think she thought she was riding a boogieboard. Anyway, she didn`t get stopped by crashing into me but, she got spun around so that she was now riding down the hill backwards lying on her stomach. Screaming laughter all the way!

Weirdo Japanese, if I`d not seen it, I`d have said it couldn`t be done!

[ncermak]

Several years ago, Working as a race coach at Sunapee. Riding the Old Red White and Blue Rossi VAS...I think it was about a 171. At the end of the day, making high speed laps on Eggbeater, right in front of the race shed...with the picture window...with the ski coaches sitting int there getting changed. There was a nice little drop off that was great to launch off of at the bottom of thill (on skiers left). Well I'm ripping down, laying the turns out...showboating a little...line up for the lip...catch a clump of snow on the takeoff...and get spun 90 deg in mid air. I Landed on my chest (wearing a radio in a chest harness... yard saled equipment, knocked the wind out of myself. All right in front the rest of the coaches. After about 5 minutes of laughter, one finally came out to see if I was alive. Needless to say, that was the end of the day, and the next stop was the Bar...

[trailertrash]

at mt snow the gondola lift chutes used to face up the hill, so you could come flying down into the lift line. this was way before they had the "slow" signs they have now. well, dear old ma was always the sweeper in the family and the slowest skier. the rest of us had pulled off to the side of the lift line chute, she thought because we were waiting for her. she didnt see the little yellow ropes across the wooden poles at the end of the chute. poor ol ma went a$$ over tea kettle over that rope. did a complete flip. after making sure she was ok we nearly peed ourselves laughing. poor ma!

[Guest Salomon Orangge]

Here's one that happened last season. My father, my sister, and her boyfriend Dave decided to go up to Mt. Sunnapee for the day (we all always snowboard together). The day goes fine, and I'm riding on my Salomon DT52WW (152 wide width). Gets to be about 1pm, and we're getting tired. So we're shooting down a trail, and i'm about 15 meters behind my father on his blind side. He banks on his toeside as we're coming up to a sharp left turn in the trail, and I stay hugging the left wall. All of a sudden, my father banks back to the left, and because of where he had been he couldnt see me. So WHAM! I hit him from behind, and I was going FAST. He went down, and I went cartwheeling down the hill, ultimately landing on my head/neck and slumping to the ground. I was wearing my helmet, so no head injuries, but my back was killing me, and I couldnt get up. Ended up having to be taken off the mountain in the meat wagon.

[GeoffV]

My wife (girlfriend at the time) where at Sunday River with some college friends over Christmas break. The group of us was merging in to the lift line and as we were slowing down my wife was goofing off and spreading and closing her ski tips as she was slowing down. She caught her inside edge of her skies and proceeded to have her skis go in opposite directions resulting in a split, falling with her face in the snow and her a$$ in the air. A skier came by yelled out nice a$$, gave it a slap and kept on going. My wife never played around with her skis in the lift line again…

[Neil Gendzwill]

This is one from my skiing days as a teenager. I'm at Jasper, going down this wide open blue that's serviced by a T-bar. Not much skill yet, didn't realize until too late how much speed you can build up. Take a big sweeping right hander trying to stop, now I'm headed straight for the T-bar. The people on the T-bar are looking concerned, then worried, then paniced as this out of control kid sails toward them. Then I see the bump. Just one bump in the whole hill, but it's right on my path. It has a little sign that says "this bump's for you, Neil". I hit that sucker and explode. Rag-doll, cartwheel, half-gainer with a twist. The people on the lift have gone from paniced to relieved to concerned to convulsed with laughter as they see I'm OK. I look up the hill and start counting off pieces - hat, glove, goggles, ski pole, another pole, other glove, ski... wait a sec... I was wearing safety straps and still ripped both skis off.

All my best stories are on skis. At Panorama, there's this lovely steep black groomer called Fritz's. The entry to it is just skier's left of a lift line and of course the trail flattens out before it drops. I head for this the first time going mach schnell on my old 205 GS skis. They had Marker M40 bindings, the kind with the really long, square heels. I sail off the lip for a good 50 feet, getting back further and further. When I land, I just go straight back, my knees hinge like they're supposed to and I slam my ass straight into those heel pieces. Now I'm lying on my back on the tails like a little kid going through daddy's legs, but still barreling down this steep groomer and not really slowed down all that much. Somehow I managed to stop with a semi-controlled crash and not kill myself, but my ass was sore for days.

[tex1230]

One ski story and one board story...

1980 - one of my last seasons on skis - at Ruidoso, NM (think it's called Ski Apache now) - There was a super wide run in front of the lodge with a lift running righ up the middle - the groomers always missed a 15-20 foot wiide section right under the lift. So, I hit a jump on one side of his ungroomed field and spin a 360/heli - thinking I'm going o clear o the other groomed section...landed just a little short, tails of my skis catch in the powder, I rotate out of the bindings and land on my back - slid on my back all the way down the hill, looking up at my brother & sister on the lift above me laughing so hard hey almost fell off the chair...and neither one grabbed my skis on the way down so I had too hike all the way back up...

Boarding - 1989 - Donner Ski ranch - spotted Damian Sanders cruising along and decided to follow him. low visibility, couldn't really see where I was going... he slows down and tells me "careful - there's a little drop up ahead." and he disappears into the fog. Next thing I know I'm flying through the air, landing flat on my back - it was very soft but the "little" drop was about 40 feet!

[jdgang]

1997--was flying down one of the double blacks on stratton on my toeside edge. Started to slide because of ice so I figure I would quick turn and jam on the brakes on my heelside....well hit a huge patch of ice and the board slides out from underneath me. I start sliding on my A** and off the lip on the side of the trail. got stop by a tree that hit the base of my board perfectly between my bindings.....nobody was hurt.

[ARCrider]

teenage ski story

doing a freerace, top to bottom no gates just straight down with some friends. Leading the gang close to the bottom I decide to take the big bump on the right instead of the much safer flat left side. This is a bump which most people take with a short run in and check some speed before hitting it. Not me, full speed and overshoot the landing by at least 40'. Land so hard on the flats that my knees buckle and I slap my back on the tails of my skis hard enough to bounce back to a standing position with no loss of speed. Huge problem though, my goggles have slid down my face covering both eyes and obstructing my mouth and nose too. Am lucky it was the very bottom and flat with nobody directly in my path. Get everything back in control and slide into the liftline but I couldn't stop my legs from quivering and all my buddies are saying what a great jump I did. never did tell them the whole of it just left them thinking it was all on purpose.

[sic t 2]

Hunter Mountain last year..... "gapping the pipe; or die trying"

Waiting for my turn in the pipe when I see this boarder come streaming down from the far right side of the slope. Apparently he was unfamiliar with Hunter and thought the side of the pipe (the outside of it) was a perfect table to hit. Before our eyes ramps into it like a madman, clears the flat hiking trail on the top and then does at least a 10 foot plus death drop right into the center of the icy pipe. Yeah, his legs did the snapping pretzel thing on impact and the medics had to sled him out.

That was definitely the dumbest thing I ever saw on a mountain in 11 seasons. Its possible it was a real gap attempt. If that is the case it should have been on MTV Jackass.

Sic

[bobdea]

sunday river, out taking a couple runs on my break with a couple friends that also work there, it was a nice spring day and I was riding probably as well as I ever have and I manage to fold the nose in a soft spot while laid out in a toeside, I got catapulted and landed at 15 ft away and had a crowd of teleskiers cheering me on, kinda reminded me of taking a tumble at tucks having a audience and all.

one day coming down to lift six(north peak) I was going really fast in soft boots and got sketched out and ended sliding on my ass for about 200 ft and going over the bank and hitting the valve house that is right there.

this time I had a audience for too but it was the mechanics that were working on the lift, it took me three seasons to live that one down, I was on the clock so at least I would have been covered if I got hurt.

steamboat, on a spring day I was riding with some friends and I was mid toeside when I rode into the shade and my board hooked up hard, got launched and landed on my ass very hard.

I am laying in the snow and suddenly I felt this terrible and weird feeling, it was my ass, I felt like I had torn it or something, the people I was riding with rode up and just looked at me and said that looked like it hurt, all I could say was "yeah".

I got up and rode down in pain but what was worse was going to the bathroom for the next week.

[Neil Gendzwill]

it was my ass, I felt like I had torn it or something

So you would say that run ripped you a new one?

[bobdea]

it sucked

[Neil Gendzwill]

I was once at the top of a medium-steep pitch, a tough blue, and noting that at the bottom it was flat and then uphill again. My friend starts to make some turns down, but I was thinking to avoid a walk or a hike so I tucked it. The light was a little flat and it was snowing lightly so I didn't notice the set of bumps halfway down until I was in them and already hauling ass. I could have stopped if it were flat but I knew if I tried in those bumps it would be ugly. So I just got my weight back, tried to stay loose and straightlined the bumps. Good thing I had my trusty GS skis with the metal in them, those things were damp and stable as hell and I never did find the top end of them. I skipped across the tops, flew across the bottom and up the hill and stopped to check my underwear beside an older gentleman who thought that was one of the most amazing things he'd ever seen. I was just happy to be in one piece.

[tufty]

One from learning to board:

Me and my mate Phil, the lifelong teenager, out having fun i first week boarding - we were crap, but aware of it. so, we've just done a really nice little red run without making complete arses of ourselves, have been flicking each other thumbs up all the way down, feeling exceptionally cocksure, "got this cracked" etc etc. There's a double drag lift at the bottom of the run, with big queues of people, we arrive simultaneously, both pull snow-lifting heelside stops simultaneously, both catch front edges simultaneously, both smack faces into the unyeilding hardpack simultaneously. Pick selves up, we're proabably laughing harder than the people in the line.

And one from my first year working the slopes. As a bit of windup to the story, I was working on a non-detaching chairlift that is _long_, and as a result has it speed cranked up to the max, or near enough. As a result, it's a bit of a sod to get onto, and leaves heavy calf bruising if you get it wrong. We always recommend boarders to unclip the rear foot, but there are always some who refuse. Like the guy who arrived, in full season, with both feet attached. Now, you can _tell_ who the beginners are in the lift line, and he was one. Second day on a board would be my guess. So, anyway, I say to him:

"You might want to take your back foot out, it's loads easier to get on the chair"

"Nah, I do this all the time"

"No, Seriously. You really want to unclip a foot. When you're on the chair, pull the bar down and reattach it. Easy both ends that way. Believe me, it's an evil lift."

"No, I'll go like this"

"Fair enough."

Okay, I think, good luck. So, the gate opens, he misses his moment, and manages to slap himself onto his face on the ice, right at the point where the chair is going to arrive at full speed. Emergency stop on the lift, he picks himself up looking all sheepish, but rather than sitting on the chair _which is there for him_, takes off his board and heads back for another 10-15 minutes queuing. I only realise this when I come out from restarting the lift.

So, 15 minutes later, he arrives back at the front of the queue, both feet stil attached. I kind of look at his feet, he kind of shakes his head, and off he goes. At least this time he gets the timing right, but manages to wipe out the skier next to him and then swerves way off the takeoff ramp into the pile of manky snow and ice we've been taking out of the ramp. Another emergency stop, and I head off, snickering, into the cabin to restart the lift while Marcel, my colleague, picks up the skiers. As a non-boarder, Marcel doesn't bother pointing out that there is a free space on the seat, and matey heads off, board under arm, to queue again.

Attempt 3 happens about 10 minutes later. He arrives, both feet still attached. I lift my eyebrows in a roger moore sort of way. He ignores me completely. This time he gets the timing right, manages to get to the end of the ramp without falling over or knocking anyone else out, heelsides to a halt and waits the chair with his board perpendicular to the ramp. I've realised what's about to happen, and have slowed the chair down, but it's too late. The chair slams into his calves, digs his front edge in, and he is catapulted into the pit at the end of the ramp. Emergency stop number 3, I run down to see if he's OK. He picks himself up, and says loudly "you did that on purpose!". Myself and Marcel collapse in fits of laughter, which doesn't help matey's state of mind, between tears I'm checking he's really okay, he unstraps his board, storms off in a huff to the carpark, where I see him _throw_ his board into his car. Breaking the rear side window in the process. I nearly bust a fsking gut.

Oh, and the guy who spent a good half hour in the cabin using our tools to tit about with his bindings. He overcranked the screws insanely hard; when he got on the lift he left the board behind, and went up with a pair of bindings on his feet. Stripped the inserts completely. I'd seen it done with under-tightened bindings or snow under boots with skis, but never seen the bindings completely lift out of a board. Good job it happened on the lift and not halfway down a slope, I guess, but it was good for a laugh.

Simon

[Galen]

Stupid, not funny:

At bachelor for the first time, 1 ft of fresh, white out. Charging around, not sure where I was. Suddenly I was weightless, then BAM! I landed on the edge of the nose, full stop, tore my minascus tendon. 6 weeks down. Later that season I realized I had launched off a roadcut on the west village get back and landed on the packed and icey cat track. Doi.

Stupid ,but funny:

Riding at Crystal, my friends were waiting for me at the top of a knoll on the run. I was approaching them pretty fast, thought it would be funny to start flapping my arms around like I was going to fall. Caught an edge and started cart wheeling. Somehow I managed to land with the nose on the snow, tail in the air, and my body arched back so far the tail stuck me in the ribs. I ended up in a pile at my buddies feet. They looked pretty puzzled, and I tried to explain I was pretending to fall. couple of cracked ribs. When I healed up, I tried to replicate the position in my living room, but no way could I bend my body or the board close to what had happened. It's easy to see why drunk drivers always survive major crashes, totally relaxed!

[D-Sub]

it sucked

sure you didnt break your tailbone? or was it just a cheek spreader?

gosh..most of these stories arent funny at ALL really. you guys are scarin me! glad youre all mostly ok

edit...just read tufty's...how come things are so much funnier in EU?

[Jon Dahl]

I did Mt. Adams in July. 24 hour, 12 mile round trip, on the permanant snow field. Sea level to 12,000 ft. is a little hard on the body. Summited at noon on day 2 after spending the night at 9,000, went to the top of the false summit to board down, with rubber legs. made several good turns in very variable snow, and was feeling good 'till I got into the VERY large snow cups. Went into one going forward at some speed and buried the nose into it. First half of the flip landed me on my back and pounded my kidney into the Nalgene bottle in my pack. Ouch. Second half of the flip was a face plant as speed was building. Oh, forgot to mention the ice axe in my right hand. Death grip on it. Finally got the axe in and scubbed off the speed. God did I hurt! Made a few wobbly turns down to the rocks and limped down to camp in agony. Had to pack up and hike out 'cause I couldn't ride the last thou of snow. Lesson learned was late season snow can really bite!

[kjl]

1) Riding at Alpine Meadows for maybe the 4th time, in blizzard + whiteout conditions. I was trying to find my way down, but all I could see was white in all directions. I really could only see my board, my legs, my arms, and the edges of my goggles - everything else was white. I stopped to get my bearings. I stood there, looking around, starting to feel lost and was just starting to unzip my jacket pocket to look at a trail map (not that it would have done me any good) when I saw a little tree sapling cruise by at about 20 miles per hour... which I suppose meant I wasn't actually standing still after all. Then I got the worst vertigo ever and immediately cratered. The fog/snow blew through for a few seconds and it turns out I was directly under a lift chair with a laughing guy on it.

2) Another whiteout story: I think I was on Harmony ridge at Whistler. Again, all I could see was white, but I decided to go down some double black diamond off the ridge. It started getting steeper, but I couldn't see anything, so I skidded to a toeside stop (so my back was facing downhill), at which point I saw 10-15 feet of cliff rocks rise in front of me rapidly... which meant I had just fallen off a cliff, I guess. And then I cratered. The plus side was that nobody had gone that way since the 2 feet of snow had started falling, so I had a ridiculous freshie heaven ride on the way down.

Moral of the story is to ride with other people and at locations you know well when you can't see anything ;)

[ARCrider]

Stupid, not funny:

At bachelor for the first time, 1 ft of fresh, white out. Charging around, not sure where I was. Suddenly I was weightless, then BAM! I landed on the edge of the nose, full stop, tore my minascus tendon. 6 weeks down. Later that season I realized I had launched off a roadcut on the west village get back and landed on the packed and icey cat track. Doi.

Did the same thing at Red Mountain, BC. skiing the trees, making fresh tracks and wondering what the little orange ribbon was for, split some trees and find myself airborn high above a slow road cat track. try to tuck high and clear it but catch the far side and send my knees into my chin and then bounce into space again as the slope falls away. I'm lucky nobody was under me. Ought to have been more careful whilst out exploring.

[tufty]

how come things are so much funnier in EU?

They aren't always funnier. I've got loads of "holy ****, that was close" ones, too. Getting lost in fog, and pulling about a foot short of a 400ft cliff is one that I won't forget in a hurry. Or my mate the ski patroller triggering an avalanche just in front of me (it ran literally 3 inches from the front of my board). Or the people that will jump 5m from a chairlift onto hardpack to recover a glove (2 broken hips).

But mostly it's funny.

Here's a painful but vaguely amusing one.

On holiday, it's late January and cold (-30c or so at night, nothing more than -18 during the day). The hardpack is HARD. So, early morning, going out with my wife, she decides to take the blue run down to a particular lift while I blaze a couple of nice little reds. Of course, on the last there is an uphill section, so it's 'flat out down a twisty trail, no slowing down because you've got to make it uphill again'. No problem, except that I manage to catch an edge at full speed (I still have no idea how it happened) and slide the uphill section on my face. Pick self up, seeing stars a bit, but everything necessary seems to bend in the right directions, so pick up goggles and carry on, somewhat more gingerly and generally thankful not to have busted anything.

Get to the lift, there's a few people stood about, and they all start backing away from me at speed. Wife sees me, and her face goes white. "What the f..." I say, then realise that my bright yellow ski jacket is red all down one side, there's blood pouring from my face, around my goggles and dripping onto the jacket in a most disconcerting manner. "Oh, that's nothing" I say to the wife nonchalantly, snarl at the other people in a particularly vile manner and add, loudly, "you should see the other guy". Then get on the lift as though all the sticky-out bony bits of my body didn't hurt like hell. Bloke at the top of the lift saw me coming up and stopped it at the top in case I had trouble getting off.

About 7 years later, teaching english to the piste workers in the resort, that guy was one of my students, and he remembered, bringing it up as a 'story of stupid tourists'. Yes, I told him it was me. We laughed.

I did continue boarding that day, I should probably have stopped. Youth and stupidity, I guess. I'd do the same today :)

Oh, and afterwards, when the scabs came off, I found I had a 'stripy' suntan down one side of my face. The stripes, of course, corresponding exactly to the width of groomer teeth.

Simon