Funniest thing you've seen on the hill?

[Fat Old Bastard]

Treble Cone NZ in 93 I thought I was pretty slick on my Hot Logical asym. So I was skidding sliding and scraping oops I mean carving downhill at a good speed on a moderately steep run when for reasons I can't remember I lost an edge or whatever and went up in the air upside down with board right up high. Then when I slammed back down the nose of the board speared into the hard snow and stuck their leaving my body dangling downhill from the board. I was uninjured but pretty uncomfortable and I couldn't reach the bindings to release myself. So I was hanging there upside down. :eek: I tried shouting for Help (how embarrassing) but nobody stopped so eventually I dug handholds in the snow and dragged my body up the slope until I could release my bindings. Talk about pride cometh before a fall (but in this case not after). :smashfrea

[GeoffV]

Not trying to be a downer, but it's not fair to paint me as humorless because I don't laugh at people wrecking. The potential for injury outweighs the potential for humor.

ok this came across wrong then, because I was not laughing at the situation we were in all, that was rather scary. I guess you had to be there because Bob and I can look back at it and laugh about it. We certainly weren't laughing when we were up in that chute.

Also that quote in the bubble is from Bob not me.

[pebu]

One day I was "shooshing" down the edge of a run and I lost an edge, started sliding on my back, backwards. I went off the trail and was sliding on top of the crust in between a couple trails. I looked over my shoulder and realized I was about to slide head first right into a lift tower. All of a sudden a stick and a rope that marked the boundry of the hill caught on both nose and tail of my board. That one puckered me up a bit...

[Neil Gendzwill]

This was a few years ago - I was at Marmot Basin on skis, heading down this above tree-line open cruiser with a T-bar to my right. As often happens on runs like this, you lose perspective on how fast you're going until you're going waytoofast. So I start to scrub speed and make this screaming turn to the right, and now I'm headed straight for the people on the T-bar, going mach schnell. I can see their eyes getting wider and they're starting to scramble to get off the Ts when I notice this little bump in my path. I think there was a sign there saying "this one's for you, Neil". Hit that bump and blew up, skidding to a stop within 10 feet of the liftline. Looked up the hill and saw pole, pole, ski, ski, mitt, mitt, toque, goggles - total yard sale. The funniest thing was that these were the days of safety straps - broke them both and left the skis on the hill, fortunately stuck in the snow. All I can say is thank God for teenage resilience.

[Allee]

There was the day I took my first T-bar ride with my friend Geoff ... he's regular, I'm goofy. That was the day I discovered that goofy riders sit on the left, and regular riders on the right. We did it the other way around and only got about ten feet up the hill, before we ran into each other and fell off in a tangled heap. The lifty laughed so hard he had to sit down.

I got onto a lift at Cardrona one day and the lifty was standing with a vacant expression on his face, pretty much right in the path of the chair. My friend Kim and I sat, and as the chair swept up it almost collected the lifty in the head - he had to do the drop and roll thing to avoid getting nutted. So I said to Kim "what the hell was that lifty doing?" and totally deadpan, she replied "checking out your a$$, my dear". We still giggle about that ten years later.

A couple of seasons ago, messing about on snowblades on the ski-out at Sunshine, I was running up and down the bank on the side when I got my weight too far back, and slingshotted across the trail and off the other side, straight down about a four foot drop. I landed in waist deep powder, and was lying there laughing as spectators peered off the edge to make sure I was OK. The ex boyfriend slides to a halt on the edge of the trail, yells "I'll save you!", kicks off his skis and leaps down to join me. When he surfaced I said "nice going, dummy. Now we're BOTH stuck". The look on his face ... priceless. It took us about fifteen minutes to crawl out...

I almost killed said ex last year at Kicking Horse. I was screaming through waist deep powder on a raceboard when I buried the nose, and went down so hard and fast I never even saw it coming. So I come up with a bloody nose, and I'm stuck in powder about fifty feet from the nearest hardpack. So I crawl, struggle, kick, and sweat and grunt, while he stands on the edge of the hardpack, feigns yawning and stretching with a huge s**t-eating grin on his face, and says things like "keep going ... you might be out in time for lunch." I was spewing mad, and If I'd had a gun, I swear I'd have shot him!

[Steve Prokopiw]

In the category of 'funny cause no one got hurt'; I was standing up on my board facing downhill while explaining the next task to six kneeling grommies during a lesson on a wide open blue run (off to the side of course).Suddenly,they all get wide eyed but no one says a thing.A millisecond later I'm up in the air doing a full backflip to butt landing.It happened so quickly that I didn't hear the lady in her high intensity snowplow scream nor did I have time to tense up before getting taken out by one her legs as she almost, but not quite missed me.The kids had a good story to tell their parents that day,and I had a new rule for our group;yell "incoming!" next time!

[C5 Golfer]

Several years ago I went to Aspen with my girlfriend at the time and unknown to us it was Gay Week. I could not believe all these guys dressed in drag and skiing all around me/us. I'd get on the chair and be asked out or constantly hit on. We went into the lodge at lunch and I was hit on again in the bathroom. I am sure some of those short guys want a peice of this 6'3" frame. We sat across from a couple of guys having a fight about one of them skiing with "Bob" :lol: :lol:

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

[Allee]

When we arrived at the top of the ravine and looked down our responses were "Oh Sh$#&"

"That sound you heard was my sphincter slamming shut."

[timinor]

The funniest thing I ever saw was the look on the faces of all the arrogant skiers who had dismissed and "dissed" snowboarding for years when they figured out that they were now in the minority and totally un-cool.

[pebu]

"That sound you heard was my sphincter slamming shut."

Wow... I'm havin a hard time keepin quiet in my cubicle after that...

[two_ravens]

I did a "funny because no one got hurt" about my 4th or 5th time on a snowboard (Burton Safari - picked up for $25, edges blown, Sorel boots, great tiger stripe graphics!) way back in '95. I had hiked up to a backcountry run. The top starts with a little rock band, maybe 2'-3' high, always windswept bare so you hit it in this little filled in notch that is guarded by a low hanging tree branch. On skis I would always lay back on my ski tails, highest point being my kneecaps, and clear it no problem. Not quite clear on the snowboard concept, I realized just a second too late that sideways on a board - that trick doesn't work so good....! The board cut sharply sideways and up, launching me off the rocks into another tree, where the board caught and I was hung upside down in the branches. Just far enough off the ground - I couldn't quite push up to free myself, and couldn't reach the bindings. After about 15 minutes of flopping around I finally got one binding loose enough to get one foot out of the boot, then some sideways sock footed tree climbing got me free. Ah, the good old days...

[abakker]

last season, while riding my coiler PR184 i went out to ride with friends and we decided rather spontaneously to find some last powder before the season ended. not a good idea on that board, which neither floats nor flexes. after a rather interesting section of glades and traverses, i drop into this small bowl full of knee deep powder. i turn once heelside and keep the nose up, then at full speed make the edge change, but without pressuring the nose i couldn't really make the transition and even when i attempted very mildly to do that, i stuffed the nose at significant speed. i rolled about 6 times fully extended. i couldn't breath because i had had the wind knocked out of me so hard, but my friends couldn't breath because they had collapse from laughter. one of my friends who saw the fall from behind me as he followed actually fell because he couldn't ski and laugh at the same time. i got so much s*** for riding that board that day. good times though.

[trailertrash]

back in the early 80's mt snow used to have a gondolla. the entry to the line for this used to face up the mtn. as a family, we came down the hill, dad first, 4 kids, then mom as a sweeper. we always got first chair and they used to open the gondola a littler later than the other chairs. so, as we came down the hill we, the rest of the family (5 of us) saw that there were ropes across the entry to the gondola and we stopped just outside the entry. mom didnt see the ropes. she headed into the line like the rope wasnt there with enough speed to make it to the gondola house. the rope caught her at the waist and she flipped right over it. she landed right on her back laughing silly. once all dad checked to make sure she was ok we all fell over laughing.

[r_starr]

This isn't LOL funny but perhaps somewhat amusing. Last year I riding the gondola at Squaw. I asked the guy sitting next to me if he got tired of people telling him that he looked a little like Andre Agassi. He looked at me for about 5 seconds and with a grin said "Not really, I am Andre Agassi." I said "cool, I've enjoyed watching you play." Always possible it was just some guy messing with me. Looked & sounded like him though.

[Mellow Yellow]

I could start an entire thread on the things I've seen on the slopes of North Carolina

Pentecostal skiers

[skipuppy]

I was riding up the lift with two of my team mates and our coach/life coach. One of my team mates, the weekend of his first race, said that his skis felt heavier/longer. We looked down and his boots were about a cm small in the bindings.

This why we need a life coach. Apply within.

[D-Sub]

ok this came across wrong then, because I was not laughing at the situation we were in all, that was rather scary. I guess you had to be there because Bob and I can look back at it and laugh about it. We certainly weren't laughing when we were up in that chute.

Also that quote in the bubble is from Bob not me.

geoff, your story is FUNNY in the HOLY CRAP kind of way. You kinda left us hanging though as to how y'all got down? Something that steep on a hardboot setup would make me poo my pants.

[D-Sub]

There was the day I took my first T-bar ride with my friend Geoff ... he's regular, I'm goofy. That was the day I discovered that goofy riders sit on the left, and regular riders on the right. We did it the other way around and only got about ten feet up the hill, before we ran into each other and fell off in a tangled heap. The lifty laughed so hard he had to sit down.

I got onto a lift at Cardrona one day and the lifty was standing with a vacant expression on his face, pretty much right in the path of the chair. My friend Kim and I sat, and as the chair swept up it almost collected the lifty in the head - he had to do the drop and roll thing to avoid getting nutted. So I said to Kim "what the hell was that lifty doing?" and totally deadpan, she replied "checking out your a$$, my dear". We still giggle about that ten years later.

A couple of seasons ago, messing about on snowblades on the ski-out at Sunshine, I was running up and down the bank on the side when I got my weight too far back, and slingshotted across the trail and off the other side, straight down about a four foot drop. I landed in waist deep powder, and was lying there laughing as spectators peered off the edge to make sure I was OK. The ex boyfriend slides to a halt on the edge of the trail, yells "I'll save you!", kicks off his skis and leaps down to join me. When he surfaced I said "nice going, dummy. Now we're BOTH stuck". The look on his face ... priceless. It took us about fifteen minutes to crawl out...

I almost killed said ex last year at Kicking Horse. I was screaming through waist deep powder on a raceboard when I buried the nose, and went down so hard and fast I never even saw it coming. So I come up with a bloody nose, and I'm stuck in powder about fifty feet from the nearest hardpack. So I crawl, struggle, kick, and sweat and grunt, while he stands on the edge of the hardpack, feigns yawning and stretching with a huge s**t-eating grin on his face, and says things like "keep going ... you might be out in time for lunch." I was spewing mad, and If I'd had a gun, I swear I'd have shot him!

OK, THOSE are good stories!

I have a pic of my friend Brian waist deep off chair 14 at mammoth. I was eyeing this cat-track ollie over a fence to about a 6 foot drop and he ran and jumped over it to get set up for a photo and just THUMPED right in. PLOP! Laughed about that for a while. Took him forever to get out

[queequeg]

The funniest thing I ever saw was the look on the faces of all the arrogant skiers who had dismissed and "dissed" snowboarding for years when they figured out that they were now in the minority and totally un-cool.

I really relished that period in snowboarding history--where it was growing by around 80% each year for several years ... I used to love it when the very same jackasses that had trash-talked me as I strapped on my board at the top of the lift were BEGGING me for lessons on how to ride. Sheep!

[GeoffV]

geoff, your story is FUNNY in the HOLY CRAP kind of way. You kinda left us hanging though as to how y'all got down? Something that steep on a hardboot setup would make me poo my pants.

That is exactly what it was like D-Sub "Holy Crap...we could die here..."

I use to do Tuckermanns in softies years ago, but found that when conditions get dicey and I need more edge hold, hardboots are better, plus they work better with crampons.

Ok so to finish up the story...

There was a total of 4 of us sitting at the crest of the 55+ degree chute. We can't see the rock cliff to skiers left, but we know it's there. There is a huge rock cliff on our right that rise's up above us as well that we could bounce off of. Because the route flattened out to the equivalent of a green trial I knew we would not be able to see over the crest of the lip, so I started to put X's with my poles in the snow to mark our descend as we were hiking or better yet crawling up the bowl.

One of my buddies was WAY beyond his abilities and should not have gone up as high as he did. I can honestly say I was truly scared and concerned for my buddy on ski's and Bob as well. In the pic Bob is literally digging his fingers into the snow to keep traction, and his legs are pretty much dangling over the chute. It was around 3pm and the bowl's temps quickly change as do conditions with the sun setting. That was a HUGE concern for me. When we hiked up the snow was soft, but it was changing rapidly as we sat there and soiled our pants. What made the whole run even more intimidating was the VW Bug size moguls that we had to maneuver around as well.

I knew if some one could make it down alive that would give the rest of the group confidence to go. I'd like to point out there is no way to hike out of the bowl, once your up you ski/snowboard back down. I got up enough courage and started down and made it down safely with no falls. That gave the rest of the group enough confidence to head down. We all made it down in one piece, while it was not pretty, we were glad to make it into the base of the bowl and cracked open a Guinness and toasted to us staying alive.

I will not be doing that chute at Tucks again, I can tell you that. If you can believe it I had an even scarier experience last year in the bowl….

[tufty]

I've probably posted these before, but hey.

Day off work, it's been dumping all night. Woohoo. Off we go, my mate and me, and open the slopes with my colleagues. Most of the slopes have one or two groomer tracks down them, and the rest is neck deep powder. Only downside, it's still dumping, so visibility pretty much nil Anyway, we hit the best drag in the resort, about 900ft vert with the first 100ft at 100% or steeper, and with a blazing fast lift to get you back up. Groovy, and it's floaty curves in virgin pow. Aces.

Then we decide to go over to the other side of the main slope, where it's steeper and faster at the top, forgetting that about half-way down the groomers turn. And so it goes "floaty pow, groomed, floaty pow", but you can't see what's what. I hit the groomer track at mach schnell, in a turn - as I went weightless I realised what was happening, managed to land the board without wiping, only to hit a 1.5m wall of show on the other side - whoooomph! As usual when I wipe out in a big way, there's a bunch of my colleagues going up the drag not 20 feet away, all laughing fit to burst.

Another one. Another day off. Lousy weather, raining at low altitude, snow at high alt but really really zero visibility and cold as a witches tit. So I figure "fuggit, there's nobody about, I'm gonna go hit the big kick the local kids have made, it'll be all fluffy and nice underneath for a soft landing, and it's on the way to the bar as well. DOUBLE WIN! Get to the top of the drag and find a bunch of extremely disoriented looking tourists peering at a map, and then trying to work out what they can see in the murk. As I have my resort jacket on, no question of leaving them stranded (not that I would), so explain to them "follow the pickets and you'll get to the main chairlift, then you can follow that down". Fair enough. So, I say goodbye, and head straight off-piste for the kick, which is about 50 feet below. Of course, I miss the kick by about a yard, and end up buried in a bowl of neck-deep snow. A bit of a bugger, but kinda funny. So I'm laughing to myself as I crawl myself out, and then suddenly realise *I'm not alone*. The tourists had decided to follow me, 4 of them ended up in the bowl and their 7 year old hit the kick full tilt, having completely lost control on the way down.

As ever, at the moment I'm helping them out, checking the kiddie is okay, and trying to find their lost skis, the fog lifts for a brief instant, and there's one of my colleagues, laughing fit to burst.

Or the time I'm running down the big red run (on skis, this time) one morning, tapping the markers with my batons to get the snow off them on the way - this is loads of fun - big carve, tap, big carve, tap, etc. Until the last marker, which is, of course, fully visible from the lift. Foul up my carve, dig a tip, BLAM, both skis off, slide on face until the marker, breaking my goggles in the process. Colleagues on the lift - you guessed it - laughing fit to burst.

Simon

[D-Sub]

Simon

ever get that eerie feeling someone's watching you? ;)

[tufty]

It's one of the "benefits" of working a small resort. *everyone* knows you, and if it's not your colleagues that see you making a tit of yourself, it's the bloody clients :)

Sometimes they have video cameras, too.. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x14s6u_big-air-air-guitar_sport

[wavechaser]

I was at a race at Plattekill a few years ago and this little kid (about 6?) is going down the GS. Halfway through he spots a impromptu park feature next to the course - so he goes over and hits it, then traverses back into the course without missing a gate. When he found out he got beat by his buddy for that age group he was inconsolable (even with the silver medal). It took some time but we finally got him to understand what happened. It wasn't funny for him, but it gave the adults a good laugh..."Oh my god, what's he doing...no, no, NOOOOOOOOO?" :)

[tufty]

Oh no. Kids.

Okay, so this one isn't slope related, but it's funny too. My oldest son started ice hockey a few years back, aged 4. Obviously, first season, so he's crap, can barely stand up let alone chase the puck particularly well, but hey. The club here's really good, though; for the kids it's not a question of skill but a question of determination that gets them onto the team for tournaments and matches. So, aged 4, his first tournament. First real match. And he has *absolutely no idea* of what's going on. Whenever anyone scores, he's cheering, stick raised , "YAAAAY, GOAAAAAL". Which is kinda funny, cause it's mainly the other team doing the scoring. All through the match, he's been out-speeded and out manouvered by the bigger kids, he's not touched the puck once, but he's sticking with it. He's a fighter, I'll give him that. So, just before the end of the match, the other team score (again), and for once, he's pretty close to the action. All the other kids are heading off toward the centre for the faceoff, but he's determined. He's gonna hit that puck. You could see the determination on his face as he waddled towards it. But he gets to the puck at the same time as the referee (a kid of 14 or so from one of the higher level teams). But he's gonna hit that puck, referee or no referee. Gives a hefty swing of his stick and - thwap! on the referee's fingers. And suddenly, the ref is skating about, screaming some really rather indelicate phrases and shaking his hand to stop it hurting. You know when you are on the point of laughing so hard you think you're going to ****, but you know you shouldn't, because there's a kid there in a world of hurt? That was one of those moments.

Simon