Michelle Posted April 6, 2007 Report Share Posted April 6, 2007 Allee, I feel for ya. And I could say something like "it's better to know now" but jeez after 3 1/2 years you would think he would have dealt with that situation before now. I mean, I'm sure the topic came up before now, right? I'm on the fence. I wanted kids when I was younger, but now that I am older I've pretty much said no. However, I do believe (at least for me) it depends on how you are having the kids with. If I met the right guy, and the situation was right, I would consider it. Although I'd better hurry :) Thought I had that problem solved....I think Dan looks much happier in his wedding photo (which is BEAUTIFUL) than Allee and I do right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartron Posted April 7, 2007 Report Share Posted April 7, 2007 Jason, your kids are cute, and I know you love them to bits. BUT this for me is not a pros and cons thing. There is nothing to rationalise here. I just don't want. Any more than I want to be an astronaut or a firefighter. Give me kittens and puppies and watch me turn into a gooey mess, but kids ... sorry, just nothing there. Good to see you stick to your guns. I know that there are plenty of guys out there who feel the same way, I just have to find one. Talk about cutting my options though - I signed on to an internet dating site the other day. After I loaded my options I had 340 matches - when I entered that I wanted someone with no kids, who didn't want kids, we're down to 7. Michelle and Aisling think they've got it tough. :) I must be living in some kind of bubble. Most of the guys I know don't want kids. At least, that's what they claim. However, some are willing to have kids if their wives (present or future) want them. I guess they're boiling it down to deciding whether they love having their wives more than they hate having kids. 'later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike T Posted April 7, 2007 Report Share Posted April 7, 2007 I know that there are plenty of guys out there who feel the same way, I just have to find one. Talk about cutting my options though - I signed on to an internet dating site the other day. After I loaded my options I had 340 matches - when I entered that I wanted someone with no kids, who didn't want kids, we're down to 7. That honestly surprises me. A good percentage of the single guys I know aren't looking to become parents. There's a difference between "absolutely positively doesn't want children" and "wouldn't mind having them but it's not a priority". If a fellow is in the middle ground and wants his profile to be more attractive to the fairer gender, he might say "I want kids" if the choices are "I want them" and "I don't" because it makes him see more open. I also knoew a lot of guys who think the way I did when I was childless and single: I'm not opposed to the idea, but first I need to find someone who I want to have children with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allee Posted April 8, 2007 Report Share Posted April 8, 2007 There's a difference between "absolutely positively doesn't want children" and "wouldn't mind having them but it's not a priority". If a fellow is in the middle ground and wants his profile to be more attractive to the fairer gender, he might say "I want kids" if the choices are "I want them" and "I don't" because it makes him see more open. This is what worries me. There's a lot of people out there who answer "undecided" to this question. In fact, my ex was one of those. And just because they feel that way now ... doesn't mean they'll feel that way when their mid life crisis hits. What stuns me on these sites is the number of guys who are 40 -45, who don't have kids and want them. So when you're 60, you're supposed to be thinking about retiring, and instead you're stressing about how to pay the kids through college?? And worried about breaking a hip every time you go out to play ball with them?? My ex is 41 - now he has to find someone he likes enough to marry (being a traditional boy like that). Then she has to get pregnant, which may take some time, especially if she's older, and then carry the baby for the best part of a year - this could all take years in which he's not getting any younger. And what happens if there's a problem and they can't get pregnant? Aargh, too many variables. All I can say is that he made a very, very brave call, because there's a lot of things in there that might not work out. The other thing that stuns me? I have on my profile - "has kids no". "wants kids no". I have in my commentary - kids are not for me. And I get email from guys who want kids!!!!! Can you morons not read!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartron Posted April 8, 2007 Report Share Posted April 8, 2007 What stuns me on these sites is the number of guys who are 40 -45, who don't have kids and want them. I believe the quality of the male sperm decreases a fair amount when they're in their 40s. I remember reading that it increases the chances of birth defects too. OK, I just found a bunch of articles about it. Here's one: http://www.llnl.gov/pao/news/news_releases/2006/NR-06-06-01.html I don't know how credible the source is, but the article does echo what I had read. The other thing that stuns me? I have on my profile - "has kids no". "wants kids no". I have in my commentary - kids are not for me. And I get email from guys who want kids!!!!! Can you morons not read!!! Unfortunately, that's normal. Check out the womens' profiles and you'll see there are lots of other women having the same problem. :( 'later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fleaman Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 And I get email from guys who want kids I never get any emails from bomber, what gives???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Bird Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 I never get any emails from bomber, what gives???? i think it is your name and avatar. advertising that you have flea's and showing us a picture with that much hair.....marketing,marketing,marketing. If you changed your name to "The Brad" and put up a picture of Pitt, I think you would be well on your way to getting an email, probably from one of his lawyers. If you add that you don't want kids, Allee might drop you a line. you could write it in your quiver description or signature. With enough pressure Fin and Michelle may be willing to start a singles section, my fear is that it would be a sausage fest, but a few success's would happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 9, 2007 Report Share Posted April 9, 2007 I never get any emails from bomber, what gives???? I don't think that came from Bomber....unless Fin wrote it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted April 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2007 so michelle how are things going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 Oh, I screwed it up. I'm kicking myself for it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobdea Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 explain!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 Can't. I'm such an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Bird Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Can't. I'm such an idiot. Are you pregnant?! Not that we would start any rumors or anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartron Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Oh, I screwed it up. I'm kicking myself for it too. Permanent damage or recoverable ? 'later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Are you pregnant?! Not that we would start any rumors or anythingThat would insinuate that I've had some form of sexual relations, and we all know that it doesn't happen unless you are married. :rolleyes: Plus, what kind of a question is that? JEEZ.Permanent damage or recoverable ? Not sure yet, but I honestly tried to recover and explain. Might be permanent. I don't really know much at this point, except I think it's really too bad to give up on something that has so much potential. Moving forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted April 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 yikes hope it wasn't mentioning stuff on here that caused any issues... not like you said much! hope you can make things right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartron Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 That would insinuate that I've had some form of sexual relations, and we all know that it doesn't happen unless you are married. :rolleyes: :lol: Not sure yet, but I honestly tried to recover and explain. Might be permanent. I don't really know much at this point, except I think it's really too bad to give up on something that has so much potential. I agree. Hope it works out ! 'later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 yikes hope it wasn't mentioning stuff on here that caused any issues... not like you said much! hope you can make things rightNo, you guys had nothing to do with it. The damage was already done I think. I was just being very optimistic.I also hope things work out. However, it takes two. I could use all the positive vibes and well wishes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Michelle... You didn't reject his broken bindings or something did you???? now that would have been stupid... Seriously, I hope you can work things out! -NBC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Ah Noah, that would be easy to fix :) This is unfortunately a bit more complicated. Thanks for the wishes - I just need positive vibes and hopefully he will realize what we both are missing out on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 just point him to this thread and he'll see what he's missing... better yet, give his email and his inbox will be flooded with michelle fan mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allee Posted April 17, 2007 Report Share Posted April 17, 2007 Positive vibes coming your way. I have a couple of people coming around tonight to check out the roommate situation, the house renovations are happening slowly but surely, and I have a final interview for a kick a$$ job on Friday. Maybe my karma isn't so bad after all ... I'll send you some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 just point him to this thread and he'll see what he's missing...better yet, give his email and his inbox will be flooded with michelle fan mail. As much as I'd like to.......Thanks Noah, that's sweet of you to say. And Allee, I appreciate it! Sounds like things are looking up for you after all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted April 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 well michelle how much do you believe that 'what happens, happens for a reason'? guess a lot depends on that personally i think thats a load of crap. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Actually Aisling, I believe in that philosophy quite a bit. Sometimes we can't see the reasons right away, and sometimes we never see them. But when I think about it, I have seen many cases of when this comes true, as painful as it is sometimes (such as when people leave us, in relationships or death). I do believe that if things were meant to be with me and this special guy, some driving force will make it happen. I'm not just sitting back waiting for a miracle, there's been a huge effort on both sides to make it happen. It's all a matter of choices. And if it doesn't happen, then there is something else out there for me, as bad as it may suck at the moment. Maybe it's just my way of dealing with it, I don't know. For example, (not saying this is the case here) even if one person is resisting with all their might, if it's meant to be, something will happen where they will not be able to resist for long. And if they can and succeed in doing so, then it's not the person that I want to be with anyway. Why would I want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with me? I guess there is a difference between can't and won't. Can't means it is completely impossible, and there is absolutely no chance. Won't means you are making the choice for it to be that way. I have found there aren't a lot of "can'ts" in life, but there certainly are a lot of "won'ts". Just depends on where a person's priorities are, and which ones are at the top of the list. What I do think is a load of crap is "it's better to have love and lost than never loved at all". THAT's BS!! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts