Jump to content
Note to New Members ×

OT: waaaaaaay OT....


Aisling

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 3.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

"Well," replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."

"Sensible" says Jeff.

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever saw."

"And what happened then?" (Paul slumps back over the bar again.)

"I kicked her in the face."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Monica Lewinsky, during her oral sessions with President Clinton, decides she should send him some pretty flowers one day to surprise him. A dozen red roses were sent and delivered to the White House, the roses were placed on the baby grand piano.

Next day, Monica calls Bill and asks, "did you like my roses on the piano?"

Bill responds, " Yes the roses were lovely but next time I would prefer to have tulips around my organ"

badabing!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well, i headed south from grand junction to albuquerque for old college roommate of mine's wedding. i took the hwy 550. it went thru silverton. wow, its amazing to see snow on the pass at 10,910 (which is given pretty much). I truly enjoyed the fall foilage!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry to disappoint Michelle. Nothing but one-handed web surfing here. index.php?act=Attach&type=post&id=18563.jpg

I am going to Tahoe this evening for a conference. Its supposed to snow up there. I'll bring a camera and post some pics if there's anything worth seeing. Gonna check out the matchstick productions "Push" movie at Squaw on Saturday night if anyone wants to join. Randy T, you around? I think I'm going to go home at lunch before driving up and grab a board and boots just in case there's anything worth hiking to for some October tracks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

One evening, he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars".

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Young girls dig bikes! Why? Because your motorcycle is viewed as an extension of your penis. Although it actually has nothing to do with your penis, females see your motorcycle as an external representative of what you've got in your leather pants. This is called symbolism.

http://osric.com/motorcycle/page4.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Young girls dig bikes! Why? Because your motorcycle is viewed as an extension of your penis. Although it actually has nothing to do with your penis, females see your motorcycle as an external representative of what you've got in your leather pants. This is called symbolism.

http://osric.com/motorcycle/page4.html

what they don't realize is that it's an inverse proportion, the bigger the motor the smaller the "....." Most are soo disapointed when they learn the truth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An Alabama man walks into his local bar with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Asks the bartender.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the man. "You know, I live by the

railway.Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to

the tracks, just like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free

and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all

night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her

on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno...Never found the head."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's a lot of people around Utah that drive big huge lifted trucks, and then you've got the Hummer's. Wouldn't the bike thing translate over to the big oversized trucks? I hope I'm not stepping on any toes here, but if I do I'm sorry in advance.

Absolutley. I saw a commercial on TV a few months ago making fun of hummers. It showed a kid in the locker room looking all sad and everything, then text flashed that said "you remember in high school when all the other boys made fun of your little tiny wee-wee?"

Then it showed an older guy (30ish?) smiling, then it zoomed out and he was driving a hummer. The picture cut away, then showed a Hummer. Across the bottom it said "Well, this will show them"

The final screen showed the hummer and said "Hummer, The biggest Wee-Wee ever."

I'll see if I can dig it up :biggthump

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wouldn't the bike thing translate over to the big oversized trucks?

I doubt it. There's a guy that lives in our street that drives an oversize truck, and he's the biggest s***head ever, and I'm sure he has a TINY ding-a-ling. Either that, or he's off his Prozac and has been for a while.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.



  • Recently Browsing

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...