OT: waaaaaaay OT....

[Gleb]

wow, this defintly took an unexpected turn. Does someone who is really bored want to go back and summarize everything thats been covered so far?

[Gecko]

Request for a raise:

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the

following reasons:

1. I do physical labor.

2. I work at great depths.

3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

4. I do not get weekends or holidays off.

5. I work in a damp environment.

6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.

7. I work in high temperatures.

8. My work exposes me to diseases.

------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr. Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the

arguments you have raised, the management denies your

request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.

2. You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each

brief work period.

3. You do not stay in your designated area, and are

often seen visiting other locations.

4. You sometimes leave your designated work area

before you have completed the assigned task.

5. You do not take initiative - you need to be

pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of

your shift.

7. You are unable to work double shifts.

8. You don't always observe necessary safety

regulations, such as wearing the correct protective

clothing.

9. You will retire long before age 70.

10. And if that were not enough, you have constantly

been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying

two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

[dantheman0177]

wow, this defintly took an unexpected turn. Does someone who is really bored want to go back and summarize everything thats been covered so far?

Um, guys, I ah think there was a line back there somewhere....but push on regardless!

[Gleb]

Um, guys, I ah think there was a line back there somewhere....but push on regardless!

never know what you can learn...or you never know when what you learned comes into use. Today i learned about stereochemistry and possibly how to clean a vibrator.

This is the off topic thread. There very few lines and to see those lines, you need special goggles so no need to worry

[skatha]

I must admit, I have no vibrator, so I'd have to refer any questions to the respective manufacturers regarding care of same....

I do have some funny vibrator stories, though.....

My fav is the time I got called to investigate a strange sound at my friend Erin's house while we were both active duty AF-we had a pact, as single girls, that we would assist the other at times of need, no questions asked. She called me at 2 am one night-she heard something scary..

I showed up with my .38 and did my best Angie Dickinson impression trying to scout out the sound in her house-it was an intermittent buzzing sound. I got closer and closer to her closet when she said "Okay, you can go home now"

Ahhhh, no....you got me up, you have to tell me what it is....

Turns out she kept her vibrator in a shoe box and the batteries were dying. Instead of beeping, it vibrated every 30 sec or so to remind you to change out the batteries.....

[bobdea]

"vibrator cleanzing, maintenence and use, a course by Sincure

All participants are encouraged to get HANDS ON in this clinic"

[skatha]

Maybe we can post a link to Jack's new website ;)

Has he ever looked at this thread??

[Sinecure]

Skatha will know the punchline about 3/4 way through this.

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am," the Sergeant Major said, "Just serious by nature."

"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

The Sergeant Major's short reply was, "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, "1955."

She said, "Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "I hope not, it's only 2130 now."

I LOVE THAT MILITARY TIME !!!!

[Gleb]

that is hilarious!!:lol::lol::lol:

[skatha]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I still use military time...it's just so much easier....

I still have my combat boots too....

[kjl]

hehe, sounds exactly like me except I am a six foot tall, goofy looking whiteboy .

Heh, that's like a skinny woman telling an enormously overweight woman than they are basically the same ;) Short is to men what fat is to women.

Wow. I just hit google to support my theory, but... holy crap. I always thought being short was a slight disadvantage, but I didn't realize it was this ridiculously bleak across the board (including income and employment?!) till I started hitting google. Thanks a lot, you damned search engine. Thankfully, it looks like the 5'5/5'6 mark is about the barrier between "very undesirable" and "completely unacceptable."

Maybe I'll start getting some prospects after I save a few thousand dying orphans, cure cancer, start my own company, buy a boat, volunteer at the puppy pound, and learn how to make chocolate cake. Oh yeah, and stop being such a jerk all the time ;)

I'm pretty excited now that whenever I hear from a woman that men are shallow and just care about looks I can pot/kettle/black or glass-house/throw-stones her.

------

They did an experiment where they asked women to choose which guy they'd go out with, the taller guy or the short guy, except the experimenters lied about the short guy. They said he was the chief of staff at a prestigious hospital, a champion skiier, who just built his own ski house, and had made millions by the time he was 25, and they still chose the other guy, who they said was unemployed. That guy was only like 5'0 or 5'3 or something. I think the women only switched to the short guy when they also made him a gourmet chef who loved children. So, basically, a 5'3 chief of staff MD gourmet cook olympic skier millionaire who knows how to use power tools comes out about equal with a random 6' guy off the street.

More random googling:

"Both men and women, whether short or tall, thought that short men--heights between 5' 2" and 5' 5"--were less mature, less positive, less secure, less masculine; less successful, less capable, less confident, less outgoing; more inhibited, more timid, more passive;"

"A survey in 1980 found that more than half the chief executives of America's Fortune 500 companies stood six feet tall or more. As a class, these were a good 2.5 inches taller than average; only 3% were 5' 7" or less. Other surveys suggest that about 90% of chief executives are of above-average height."

"Give job recruiters two invented resumes that have been carefully matched except for the candidates' height, as one study did in 1969. Fully 72% of the time, the taller man is "hired". And when they are hired, they tend also to earn rather more"

"those who were 6' 2" or taller received starting salaries 12% higher than those under six feet."

"When 100 women were asked to evaluate photographs of men whom they believed to be either tall, average or short, all of them found the tall and medium specimens "significantly more attractive" than the short ones. In another study, only two of 79 women said they would go on a date with a man shorter than themselves"

[skatha]

My friend and former call-partner Carmen, who is 5 foot even, is married to Dr. Jeff Molldrem, who is the director of Transplant Immunology at MD Anderson Cancer Center and works on the bone marrow transplant team

here's him discussing his latest project

http://cbsnews.com/stories/2004/12/07/health/webmd/main659605.shtml

He's 5'4".....

[kjl]

Hah! Too funny. Is he a gourmet chef and champion skiier?

[skatha]

Hah! Too funny. Is he a gourmet chef and champion skiier?

Well, I don't think cancer is too funny, but Jeff is actually from Minnesota, so I think that pretty much rules out gourmet or skiier....

Carmen, who's from Spain, spent a large part of her childhood in Minnesota also-her dad taught music there.....the local community wanted to whip up an "authentic" meal to make them feel at home and cooked them tacos!

So, before anybody claims that only Asians are subjected to broad stereotyping, know that Spaniards are too...at least in the upper Midwest

[kjl]

Well, I don't think cancer is too funny

I just meant it was funny because my post had: "Maybe I'll start getting some prospects after I save a few thousand dying orphans, cure cancer, start my own company, buy a boat, volunteer at the puppy pound, and learn how to make chocolate cake." and you immediately responded with an example of a short guy who is married... and is in fact tackling the "cure cancer" problem ;)

So, before anybody claims that only Asians are subjected to broad stereotyping.

Yeah, but I really am good at math, like robots, and am awesome at videogames. Guitar Hero for the win!!

[skatha]

Okay.....My "bad"....didn't see the cancer bit in the first post

I dated a short guy, as in my height, and I'm 5'5", and, although he added an inch to his stated height was a pretty good guy.....we kinda screwed things up in that we proceeded immediately to an intimate relationship before I was really emotionally ready for it, but we stayed pretty good friends....

As a personal aside, I was very pleasantly surprised with his "package"....

Talk that up...say "good things come in short packages" or "what I lack in height I made up for in length" or other suggestive things......

girls liked to be teased, by the right guy, of course.....

[D-Sub]

my god is ANYTHING "private" anymore?

[Gecko]

my god is ANYTHING "private" anymore?

obviously not

[Sinecure]

So, before anybody claims that only Asians are subjected to broad stereotyping.

Yeah, but I really am good at math, like robots, and am awesome at videogames. Guitar Hero for the win!!

Yeah, but do you drive an Acura Integra with a "Type R" badge and an exhaust that's 8" in diameter? :p

Ducking for cover now.

[dantheman0177]

Talk that up...say "good things come in short packages" or "what I lack in height I made up for in length" or other suggestive things......

girls liked to be teased, by the right guy, of course.....

I went out a few years ago with my girlfriend's sister and a couple of other friends. The place we were watching the game also had a convention on at the same time. It was a convention for dwarfs. The girls proceeded to imbibe on champagne and were well on the way when I came back from the bathroom. I came out at the same time as one of the little guys (now those who have met me will confirm that I am not exactly the tallest guy in the world - probably why Ken was happy to ride with me at SES) but the girls started asking about this guy's package. You know how it goes...

Girls: "So, did you get a glimpse of his package?"

Me: "No, contrary to popular women's beliefs, guys do not stare at each other's bits when we are at the urinal."

Girls: "Sure you don't. So, was he in proportion or out of proportion ??? Come on, you can tell us."

I had to spend the rest of the night telling two drunk girls that I didn't look at this dwarf's private parts.

[bobdea]

as I have been watching this thread through the months I have felt rather fortunate most of the time, have been doing all right with my relationships

but in the last few days I have been run into some issues

it sucks to get burned

sorry, just had to vent, I feel terrible

[Gleb]

sorry to hear that bob. Defintly sucks. Rocky roads blow.

[Michelle]

Heh, that's like a skinny woman telling an enormously overweight woman than they are basically the same .Short is to men what fat is to women.

You don't have short man's complex do you? Because honestly I didn't even realize you were that short. I love hanging out with you at the SES and riding the chair, because not only are you a GREAT rider, super smooth on your board but that permeates to your personality as well. You have wit and charm, and that goes a long way with MOST women. Ladies, am I right or not? We aren't all shallow and just go for looks or else the only people in the world together would be super models.

Now I agree with Dan - let's get back to the basics of the thread.

Oh Skatha, now you have indeed opened a can of worms. On page 39, post #1151 you have just about got us to the heart of the original question.

So girls, do tell. What IS it that you REALLY like about men???

1.PERSONALITY - #1 for me.

2.Someone who's not a psycho and doesn't turn into one after month 3.

I'm easy to please.

Have you guys seen Hitch (movie with Will Smith)? It's all about what guys should be doing, and about what women want. Pretty funny.

[carvedog]

my god is ANYTHING "private" anymore?

This is the down and dirty thread - remember. And when it gets too off-topic from the relationships area and all that entails, it has been guided gently back into sssssseeeeeexxxxxx.

[kjl]

You don't have short man's complex do you? Because honestly I didn't even realize you were that short.

I didn't till I went a'Googling. Now I'm mired in self-doubt and misery. ;) You might not have noticed I was short because Raichle 423's and step-in TDs add about 4 inches. It makes me a giant among... well, other, taller giants.

Hah, all kidding aside, I think the real reason I am currently single is from what Skatha wrote:

Talk that up...say "good things come in short packages" or "what I lack in height I made up for in length" or other suggestive things......girls liked to be teased, by the right guy, of course.....

I think I'd rather do anything, like go snowboarding, watch a movie, eat, play videogames, cut out my own liver and eat it, or even, god forbid, eat vegetables or read a book, than go to a bar and try out lines like that :D That seems like a great way to get punched in the face, or to be overcome with the desire to wash the dirtiness off my hands.