Erik J Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 How it is came to be…. Inspired by Shred’s go-get-em attitude in putting together the first annual MCCS. I thought I would also take matters into my own hands and start building the finest line of alpine decks that the world has ever seen. I’m talkin’ really, really good here. I really mean it. No Joke. I have a passion in my pants that would not be controlled by other board makers – so here we are. This crossroads has only two paths to take. The right one, and the wrong one. Which do choose? (Hint, mine is the right one). The name of this company? Pricodon Viradd. I did after all teach everyone everything that they know. <O:p Where it is… I would like to introduce this amazing feat of genius at any Carve Session that will have me – so that you mere mortals may gape, slobber, fornicate, etc with these truly one of a kind miracles of engineering. Call me by phone at 3-15-9 or just keep reading this in amazement to set up a demo. <O:p The complicated stuff… The construction techniques use only space age polymers that have been trilithographed into each and every microscopic seam with gives extrusions upwards of .000167 – can you believe it??? These numbers are never before seen!!! In addition to that (oh it gets better) I have reengineered the entire snowboards electromagnetic field to both absorb and deflect any ion that it deems unworthy. This new smart board technology not only creates a board with it’s own artificial intelligence but it looks really good too. If you’re feeling tired in the morning – your new board will make you coffee. Sore shoulders – ask your board to give you a rubdown. This is space age stuff people – not even the moon has this technology, or even Canada for that matter. <O:p How to get one… I’m taking pre-orders now for delivery in 2018. Like I said call me a 3-15-9. I’m always there working on my latest unbelievably intelligent design. <O:p Newest construction techniques – -this board uses only treated lumber for longevity -really, really, really sharp saws were used to cut just the right shape for perfect scientificness -the inserts are bomb-proof, with a perfect fit for the custom “binding hardware” (see pics) <O:p Feast you eyes people - notice the liberla use of metal for extreme dampness and springyness and bling and stuff <O:p <O:p The Futuristic Specs: <O:p Nose – 2”x10” Waist – 2”x10” Tail – 2”x10” Sidecut – uhhhh…. Polymorphelyptical? Probably just like a Kessler. Length – 6’ Running length – all of it Topsheet – finest pine around Core – more of that fine pine Base – pine is actually really fast, you should try it Edges – razor sharp pine Flex – it’s pretty stiff, probably best for someone over 650 lbs. Stay tuned for the rest of the lineup and other super duper features. <O:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex1230 Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Wow...I bet that's in the price range of a Tinkler? $2000 bid, but only if you include the log next to it - I need a de-tuned park stick too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Is this better than a Burton? Would this be an upgrade from a FP or UP? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack M Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 wait... those dampening panels are mounted asym. I'm out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex1230 Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 You are all idiots! You have no idea what this new technology will do. Burn every board you own and embrace the Piney Sweetness! Anybody Disagrees with that, I'll just start my own forum and leave here dramatically! These are available on ebay - item # 270230807028 No bids yet! Get them at a steal! Not my auction, but I am hoping one of you gets lucky! BBBBBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I THINK MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED What...600 people look at this thread and nobody sends me money? Ludicrous, I say! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger the Shrubber Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 You are all idiots! You have no idea what this new technology will do. Jerk. What's your racing resume look like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex1230 Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 CSSA 1988-1992, I kicked ass in every race. Don't you know who I am???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex1230 Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Jerk. What's your racing resume look like? That wasn't very polite. nice way to treat new members... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randy T. Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 WOW! What an amazing piece of craftsmanship. I have always been a sucker for wood boards. I am seriously considering putting in a pre-order but I was wondering if you could make me a custom 8' and call if the fornicator? 8' of solid pine is sure to intimidate all the jibbers. Also are those custom fabricated trench digger plates mounted to the tip and tail for slicing extra deep trenches on icy days? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 CSSA 1988-1992, I kicked ass in every race. Don't you know who I am???? nonsense. everybody knows cssa only raced sleds back then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex1230 Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Nonsense - we raced lunchtrays Only those snobby Cross-M guys got the sleds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik J Posted April 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 I'm sure that I don't need to entice anyone any further buuuuuuut..... I just can't get enough of my overwhelming advantage over every other board out there. Here are some more amazing pics. The first one is the non-metal version for you wierdos that don't know. Now this next beauty is my SL model - I'm only making these for the Olympics and World Cup riders. Once I find out who they are I'm sure they'll really really like it. The metal is both transfused and sublimated for a textural contrast that is beyond words. It's on the INSIDE!! The process takes me all night and uses massive amounts of KY jelly but it's really worth it. You start with a drill and... you know what, I'm not going to giving away all of my brilliant data. Taper is waht it's all about people - and these sticks have it. Check it!!!!!....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobdea Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 WOW! What an amazing piece of craftsmanship. I have always been a sucker for wood boards. I am seriously considering putting in a pre-order but I was wondering if you could make me a custom 8' and call if the fornicator? 8' of solid pine is sure to intimidate all the jibbers.Also are those custom fabricated trench digger plates mounted to the tip and tail for slicing extra deep trenches on icy days? the fornicator was the name of my madd! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philw Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 I'm just slightly worried that my stance won't be duck enough for this: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 I believe if you look in the rules for this forum, It says: no Bong Hits while posting... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steph Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 Well, I just checked out the ebay auction and noticed that these fine boards are NOT being shipped w/any tuning devices. Erik, if you are willing to throw in a couple of wood chisels in every shape and size, I will place my special order for delivery in 2018! I am ready to sell off my coiler and madd and feel it is time to revamp my quiver with this amazingly awesome piece of craftsmanship you've designed. Also, you may want to consider throwing in a box of galvinized nails, some decking screws and some old tires for excellent dampening that can be added or removed and the user's sole discretion:D I look forward to doing business with you:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik J Posted April 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 To further solidify my place in history among snowboardings greatest - I am going to share my tools of the trade. NOT ONLY THAT, but if you send me three easy payments of $15,000, I will show you how to use these tools of the trade. Now....please understand that this type of work is not for everyone. I am an artrist, an engineer, a man of the world. I can show you the tools and how to use them, but it's up to you to make the magic happen. If you think you can handle that, simply send me the money and join me in transforming the entire snowboard industry into something that even your snowboard never saw coming. Ladies and gentlemen.......I give to you......the tools of my craft. (please limit fan mail to no more than 73 pages) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 bolt some binders on that old water ski and I'll see what she'll do...:rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailertrash Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 is Bruce reading this? he could really get a head start on this technology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik J Posted April 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 the ultimate quiver!!!!!! #1, the super ultimate metal #2, for you big freaks of nature, this deck will handle your weight as well as make a temporary joist support should your house begin to fall apart. #3 eat you heart out Tinkler, notice this one doesn't even fit in the picture, When they groom all of Mt. Everest - this will be your go-to board #4 the squal(or). Have friends to impress, a big deal to close on the slopes, or do you just have a little weiner? This board makes whatever it is that Virus is using look like tin foil. A "sleeper", if you will, this deck has no words to describe it. Notice the genius addition of extreme taper. This board is like a fine wine, it gets better with age (so does the taper). #5 The last one is our freeride board. Half the bells and whistles, technology and materials as the rest of the line for twice the cost. You know why???? I can put your name on it in any color sharpie you want. Those markers are permanent! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik J Posted April 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 "We" also make the most luxurious stomp pad in the business. 100% kitten fur is used to ensure the finest ride around. You'll see this all over Aspen next year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirk Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 I like the fact that I could run low angles on the super ultimate metal - You may be seeing my Prior on the classifieds. I'm thinkin' "Super Ultimate" may be THE quiver killer - just sayin' :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebu Posted April 24, 2008 Report Share Posted April 24, 2008 They can't ship till 2018? You mean all of these boards that you have your tools setting on are already sold and awaiting shipment?? I wish I would have gotten in sooner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 the ultimate quiver!!!!!!#5 The last one is our freeride board. Half the bells and whistles, technology and materials as the rest of the line for twice the cost. You know why???? I can put your name on it in any color sharpie you want. Those markers are permanent! Is number 5 an acemetric? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCrimson Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 Yeah, the Slalom board requires some pretty badass knee inuring skills. Think you could make a Swallowtail? I think it might involve a sawzall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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