People also don't realize that rape can be silent and non-violent. One of those programs sponsored by a rape prevention committee at school asked everyone to think about one word that they thought of when they thought of rape. Most girls said violence. They said that one of the actual more likely words for a victim to think of is silence.
And before you all go judging about this and saying how stupid that is, they should have spoken up, or faught back, etc. think about it for a second and consider that this comes from someone with personal experience who has been through it.
If you are in the moment with someone, or maybe even not, you feel secure and safe. When a line gets crossed while you are in that place of safety and trust, the only thing you may feel is shock and confusion. This is one of the reasons why men can be raped as well. A lot of it just has to do with breaching trust of boundaries. And before you think that this is trivial and serious, think about the psychological devastation that could put someone through. Yes, they weren't violently pushed against a wall while having their mouth covered and clawing to get away... but they were violated and betrayed by someone close to them. They have to live with the fact that they didn't do more (because they were in a state of shock and couldn't) to prevent that from happening. They learn to question their judgment in people, and fear that those close to them will betray them. You should not have to be afraid of the people you trust most and the people you spend the most intimate moments with.
And before you debate this or trivialize it, please recognize that I have put myself on the line by writing this and made myself vulnerable because I thought it was important to say and express. I have not talked about how men are raised or anything like that- I just wanted to educate you I guess, that rape is much more difficult to identify- and only those instances where violence was there does that "what happened?" question answer itself easily. It took me eight months to come up with the words and just admit to myself "what happened" and another two for me to get help because I realized my fear was leaving a path of destruction behind me consisting of hurt individuals who I pushed away and didn't know why.
I am sad to say that I am concerned about what has been written in this post and the attitudes that have been taken towards it and I am also sad that I am scared to post this for fear of how people may judge it or trivialize it even though I actually experienced this and am still working on minimizing its effects in my life but I felt a need to share this because I thought it might be valuable.