C5 Golfer

Not a fantasy - It actually happened.

The Pond An elderly man in Florida named C5 Golfer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice -- picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old geezer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a Michelle and Aisling skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the fine young women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. Aisling yells to C5, "We're not coming out until you leave!" C5 frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." Moral: Some old men can still think fast. :lol:

I think this thread has placed a virus on my computer - it won't stop posting. This was done while I was at work today. Scarry ------------ A father walks into a store with his young son. The boy is holding a 50 cent piece he has brought from home. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and turning blue. The father quickly realizes that the boy has swallowed the coin, and that it's caught in his throat, and he begins shouting for help. A well dressed woman quickly comes to his aid, and at once drops the young boy's pants; takes hold of his testicles and starts to squeeze and twist them, gently at first, but then very firmly. After no more than a few seconds of this twisting and squeezing, the boy convulses violently, and coughs up the coin, which the woman catches with her free hand. After he's sure that his son is OK, the father goes over to the woman and thanks her for probably saving his son's life. He said, "I've never seen anyone do anything like that before....it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?" "No," the woman replied, "A divorce lawyer

I wonder if the server crashes or if Windows based it says you have "performed an illegal operation and will be shut down" to the 10,000th viewer or so it simply goes around the bend and start all over at "0". I suggest the 10,000th viewer of Aisling's thread gets a free pair of ThermoFlex liners. Fin - Michelle carry to weigh in here???

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams, and when he shares his she listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap - and stay for breakfast. They have a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to >every guy you meet?" "No," she replies......... "You just happened to catch my eye."

I do not write these only post them -- please do not shoot the Messanger. I believe this maybe a Women's Tool Gift.

Maye this will help in the goal.. The handsome prince announced that a grand ball would be held to which everyone was invited. Cinderella was excited but her wicked stepmother and the ugly step sisters would not let her go. She was sitting disconsolately amid the ashes when her fairy godmother appeared before her. "Why are you so sad, Cinderella?" "Because my stepmother and stepsisters won't let me go to the ball." "You shall go to the ball, Cinderella. I will provide you with the most beautiful dress and glass slippers, a coach and horses and footmen to attend you." "Oh, thank you, fairy godmother!" Cinderella happily gushed. "There is just one condition, Cinderella, and you must listen to it carefully," warned the fairy godmother. "You must be home by midnight because if you are not, on the stroke of midnight your fanny will turn into a melon". Cinderella accepted this condition and in the twinkling of an eye the promised goodies were before her and she set off for the ball. The ball was as wonderful as she expected. She danced with the handsome prince who only had eyes for her and, when the interval came she went into supper on the arm of the prince and sat opposite him. The first course was a slice of melon and the sight of this recalled to Cinderella's mind the condition that her fairy godmother had imposed. Cinderella felt sad that she had to go home so early and picked up her knife and fork to start on her slice of melon. The prince, on the other hand, ignored his knife and fork. He seized the slice of melon in both hands and buried his face in it. He took the flesh into his mouth and slurped over it as he sucked and swallowed the succulent fruit. He did not stop until he had got every drop of goodness from it. He took the rind away from his face and juices were running down his chin. He said to Cinderella, as he laid the rind aside, "What time do you have to be home?" "About half past two," she replied. :lol: :lol:

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house.. walked home.... and left it there all night. ................. Don't ya just love ol George :lol: And you thought this thread was dead!

Guilty as charged. Makes no difference but if you believe it does be sure to store your automobile at night upside down too cuz the springs might bend and sag due to gravity. Powerful stuff that gravity force. I can certainly understand why some think it does affect our camber of our boards just look at an older guy's stomach or an older woman's boobs. They both sag - nothing like an old woman with no camber. :lol:

I may give them a try or at least a chance to quote. I use SolidWorks and Pro-E to do machine design so I have the need for most all processes. I have my usual favorite vendors with whom I have a great working relationship but there are times when lead time conflict with what the boss wants. So when and if I use them I’ll report back and give a review – thanks for the tip.

Sold to Potam

I have my beautiful 177 All Mountain Blue Flame top sheet 21.5 waist width for sale in like new condition. Code on the side is 7.6. $450.00. Just don't ride it much - only been ridden a few times at Whistler/Blackcomb. In the picture those marks you may see is glare from the flash of my cheap camera. Top is in great condition.

You are about the same size as my son - he is about 155 lbs. He rides a couple of boards quite well. His favorite is a Volkl GS 173. If you get a chance try the GS 168 by Volkl, It would do you very well in my ever so humble opinion.

Some have mentioned comparisons like Ford Exploder and tires and others where they sue the distributor to get to the manufacturer. I am thinking this may not always be the case since the big law suit against Merck I believe is not including every drugstore that sold the pills. Wonder where the lawyers draw the line.

Once upon a time, ~~~~~~~~ in a land far away, ~~~~~~~~ a beautiful, independent, ~~~~~~~~ self-assured princess ~~~~~~~~ happened upon a frog as she sat, ~~~~~~~~ contemplating ecological issues ~~~~~~~~ on the shores of an unpolluted pond ~~~~~~~~ in a verdant meadow near her castle. ~~~~~~~~ The frog hopped into the princess' lap ~~~~~~~~ and said:" Elegant Lady, ~~~~~~~~ I was once a handsome prince, ~~~~~~~~ until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. ~~~~~~~~ One kiss from you, however, ~~~~~~~~ and I will turn back ~~~~~~~~ into the dapper, young prince that I am ~~~~~~~~ and then, my sweet, we can marry ~~~~~~~~ and set up housekeeping in your castle ~~~~~~~~ with my mother, ~~~~~~~~ where you can prepare my meals, ~~~~~~~~ clean my clothes, bear my children, ~~~~~~~~ and forever ~~~~~~~~ feel grateful and happy doing so. " ~~~~~~~~ That night, ~~~~~~~~ as the princess dined sumptuously ~~~~~~~~ on lightly sautéed frog legs ~~~~~~~~ seasoned in a white wine ~~~~~~~ and onion cream sauce, ~~~~~~~~ she chuckled and thought to herself: ~~~~~~~~ I don't freakin' think so.

Phunny Dan! But I have kids older than most posters here at Bomber. BTW - Yes Mt Hood is much better than our ski areas. We kinda suck at a good ski areas here in WA.

An Ex-Iowan - Sioux City to be exact. Seattle guy now for a long time and still trying to figure it out what ever the H#ll that means. Wonderful place here but so are so many other places I have visited. I love the light rain and fall smells that come with it. Love the green trees and foliage year around. I do not mind mowing the lawn in Dec when most are shoveling snow. Love the golfing year around, specially the days I snowboard and golf the same day. I love the summers that are most of the time a high of 80° and convertible top can be down cuz it is not too hot. Many places have summers so hot you can’t lower the top. Most houses here do not have air conditioning because it is usually not needed, Mother Nature’s air conditioner off the Sound does a marvelous job, plus it is not burning any resources but that is another post. Love the long days we have in the summer when it is still light out at 10PM. Love the people here but I think you’ll find great people no matter where you live. We in Seattle area are so fortunate to have so many outdoor activities available on an easy daily basis. Here is a partial list: volleyball, softball, soccer, bicycling anywhere, kayaking (sea or river), hiking or mountain climbing, snowshoeing, fishing (salt or fresh, salmon, halibut to sturgeon to bass and walleye and just about every flavor of trout), three species of deer and two species of elk to hunt till your heart is content, power or sail boat to many islands, close to the beautiful Okanogan valley and Whistler, exotic or classic car enthusiasts, great job industry and opportunities, restaurants and food and wine industry is superb, and since we are at the end it is a great place to retire. Other items to mention – No state income tax. Yes, traffic sucks big time here but that is what you get when you plop a city down with a huge lake in the center.

Disclaimer- I have about 5 Guys/Gals who send me joke emails daily, I do not make this crap up, I just forward them. Some I can not post due to content some of these would have you cracking up. Anyway here is today's that might fit this post. Gender You may not know that many non-living things have a gender. For example: 1. Ziploc bags are Male. They are male because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2. Copiers are Female. They are female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. 3. Tires are Male because they go bald and are often over-inflated. 4. Hot Air Balloons are Male because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them, and of course, there's the hot air part. 5. Sponges are Female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. 6. The Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on. 7. The Subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. 8. The Hourglass is Female because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. 9. A Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5000 years, but it's handy to have around 10. The Remote Control is Female. Yes, you thought it would be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Jack, there is a grass roots effort just starting here to build a highway to the top of Mt St Hellens (sic) so that we can take cement trucks up and cap that sucker. I am doing the best I can - please send your donations if you want to help me in this effort.

On Friendship between Women: A Woman did not come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. On Friendship between men: A man did not come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that yes, he had slept over and two claimed that he was still there.

I have no problem with diesels - Albeit, I wish they made them with the exhaust pipe coming over the front of the car so the driver gets the black smoke first. I think it may improve MPG and make the diesel autos more friendly to all.

Nice Bows AK. - From what they made? The Hawken is a .54 Cal and the Rigby style target is a .45 Cal. The Rigby has 24 lines/in full wrap checkering on a beautiful French Walnut Stock and a half round half octagon barrel. The .54 shoots best with a patched ball and FFF and is a fine hunting piece. The Rigby is very heavy so target only and a great piece of eye candy.

RE: Gas prices. I had a lady - Her elevator did not go to the top floor so to speak - once tell me it must cost you a fortune in gas to own 4 cars!!!

The Difference Between Men and Women Let's say a guy named Bob is attracted to a woman named Aisling. He asks her out to dinner; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out again; and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Aisling, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Aisling, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Bob is thinking: Wow! Six months. And Aisling is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Bob is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Aisling is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Bob is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Aisling is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Bob is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty... idiots. And Aisling is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. And Bob is thinking: Warranty? They'd better not say its only a 90-day warranty. "Bob," Aisling says aloud. "What?" says Bob, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh my, I feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Bob. "I'm such a fool," Aisling sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Bob. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Aisling says. "No!" says Bob, glad to finally know the correct answer. "It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Aisling says. There is a 15-second pause while Bob, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work. "Yes," he says. Aisling, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Bob, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Bob. "That way about time," says Aisling. "Oh," says Bob. "Yes." Aisling turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks. "Thank you, Bob," she says. "Thank you," says Bob. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn. When Bob gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure th! ere is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. The next day Aisling will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Bob, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Aisling's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say, "Norm, did Aisling ever own a horse?" And that's the difference between men and women :o ;) :D

Anyone from Oregon care to tell why a citizen can't pump his own gas in that state? They yell at you if you even get close to the nozzle. Confused in Washington where it is just the opposite. Any other states as crazy as Oregon???