philfell Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 I think we've gotten off topic of the off topic thread. Right now there is way too much talk about male body hair, testies, and dudes in general. Please lets return back to the ladies talking about their dating mishaps. So maybe this story will return the thread back on topic. Last night some of us went out to watch the Metal Gods again (this was their 169 consecutive Thursday playing at a bar in SLC). At the end of the night we found ourselves at a table in the middle of a bachlorette party, but our friend G-spot was no where to be found so we sent out a seach for him. He was no where to be found, we thought he went home with a "big boned" lady he was talking to. Right when we were about to leave we spotted him in the corner making out with said lady. So we hung back to see how things played out. We sent Ausie Chaz over to tell him if he wanted we could leave then pick him up in the morning. At about this same time the bachlorette party was breaking up and these ladies ask why we hadn't left because we said we were going to leave a while ago. So Brody tells the actual bachlorette to "look over there, see that guy making out with that fat chick...." Bachlortte gets really mad and says "she's my sister, and she isn't fat she just has big boobs so she looks bigger than she is" So the downward spiral for G-spot starts, after what Brody said there is now way for a take-me-home. Bachlorette says there is no why the fat girl is leaving with our friend after just meeting him they can exchange numbers but that's all, because fat girl has to go home to see her 2 year old kid. It was such a classic train wreck. This is a true story, but the names have been change to protect the innocent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 Phil, I think you are taking some liberties here. There is no way that's true. Oh how I miss the big city..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philfell Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 No liberties taken Michelle, I swear. Like I said I changed the names of the main characters but the story is true. So back with the stories from the ladies of carving.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 This lady of carving will have no more to do with any relationship ever again. They always suck, and not in the good way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 So far I have left a path of destruction behind me as far as dating is concerned. After "hanging out" with a few guys at school (and by hanging out I mean hanging out and going fun places and having wonderful convos) I kept on getting these guys interested in me AND looking for long term relationships!!! What is wrong with them??? This is college right? You aren't supposed to be after a long term relationship in college!!! After they get attached I naturally leave them alone- don't want to cause more pain by staying around and continuing to make them feel special. After the third guy I officially took myself out of the dating pool and starting giving disclaimers (which I had actually done with the first three anyway- you know the whole, "oh I just got out of a bad relationship" thing). My disclaimers now include the bad relationship, out of the dating pool and sex drive of a nun. Not saying all of them are true but atleast it doesn't lead to raised expectations and I don't have to disappoint people. So thats my gig. Maybe I will get into a relationship next year. But for now... life is fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philfell Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 This lady of carving will have no more to do with any relationship ever again. They always suck, and not in the good way. Do I need to make a special x-mas visit? It sounds like you need a little pick me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted December 17, 2005 Report Share Posted December 17, 2005 You would do that for little ol' me??? But only if you wear that outfit in your advatar. Although it looks like Bordy :rolleyes: Holidays suck! Sorry guys, but there are few guys out there that ruin it for all of you. Ever hurt someone just because you know you can? Guys? Ladies? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted December 18, 2005 Report Share Posted December 18, 2005 Ever hurt someone just because you know you can? Guys? Ladies? Although I will preface this by saying that, categorically, my answer is no, this question could lead somewhere BAD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philfell Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Michelle for you I would come up with an outfit that would be much more styln' than my avitar pic, any goof-ball can put on a bra and pose. I'd make things special. To answer your question, no I've never hurt any just because. Well on time as a kid I hit my friend in the face with a snowball, he started crying and I felt bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted December 19, 2005 Report Share Posted December 19, 2005 Better than the white trash party one??? So when did you say you were coming?;) Now you're going to make me blush...... just don't hit me in the face with a snowball, because I'm likely to cry too .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 20, 2005 Report Share Posted December 20, 2005 When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now older and wiser, and am looking for a girl with big tits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Gendzwill Posted December 20, 2005 Report Share Posted December 20, 2005 Oldie but goodie: A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money, and.......then he married the one with the biggest tits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Dahl Posted December 20, 2005 Report Share Posted December 20, 2005 You obviously have forgotten about gravity. Find the one with the smallest breasts, or in the case of you girls, belly. Everything will go downhill with time, and the smaller deficit you start with, the better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted December 20, 2005 Report Share Posted December 20, 2005 You obviously have forgotten about gravity. Find the one with the smallest breasts, or in the case of you girls, belly. Everything will go downhill with time, and the smaller deficit you start with, the better! Nah, I know it doesn't apply for guys bellies, but for the girls there is always the option of a little medically enhanced lift at a later stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Or you could just get really rich and buy yourself a newer and younger wife when the current one starts to sag a bit. (And in my case, several years ago when I was planning on being a hotel tycoon I was just going to have multiple boy toys- you know, from exotic places) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Or you could just get really rich and buy yourself a newer and younger wife when the current one starts to sag a bit. Yeah, so why get married in the first place (aside from all the love, affection, everlasting friendship, financial benefits - see previous thread which proves this is all in the woman's favour -, etc) (And in my case, several years ago when I was planning on being a hotel tycoon I was just going to have multiple boy toys- you know, from exotic places) If you ever buy the Melbourne Hilton, give me a bell. Happy to be installed as a toyboy there.... :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Dan, you already offered to carry my bags if I go to Australia so I think you are already on your way :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 No, I said I want to be a TOY boy, not a BELL boy!!! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyYT316 Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Utah's always a good place for a hotel, especially in Park City. I'll stick around Utah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Love the profile pic. You know life is good when guys want to be boy toys . At my college there aren't any: they just want long term relationships. Very backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Oh God, what is the world coming to!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 My dad and male friends are worried for the unexpecting guys in my life. Woot woot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyYT316 Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 Love the profile pic. You know life is good when guys want to be boy toys . At my college there aren't any: they just want long term relationships. Very backwards. Are you talking about my profile pic? If so, thanks:biggthump You should come to Utah, where there's probably a lot of guys looking to be boy toys. I mean come on, it's mostly mormon girls in Utah! You'd probably be like a goddess to all the fraternities, which by the way are only at the Univ of Utah and Utah State. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 You're welcome. As you can probably tell.. I am working very hard on procrastinating and not studying for my two finals tomorrow-- whoops make that today. Speaking of blowing: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8308962544653504641&q=banned+commercial (another priceless commercial) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyYT316 Posted December 21, 2005 Report Share Posted December 21, 2005 :lol: great video! Maybe we should start a procrastinators anonymous club! Well maybe tomorrow or the next day. Nothing like studying for your finals the day of the test. What are your finals on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts