Gleb Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 Not so sure what you're getting at here...she comes to the hill occasionally, and joins us for drinks afterwards. What you have'nt learned yet is that you cant make her do something she doesn't want to do...she will only end up resenting it...which could kill it for both of us. If I have to make some sacrifices to keep her happy...its worth it. she's making some sacrifices for me to...Its all about balance... i wasn't really getting at anything. Try to get her to enjoy the mountain. Not only with snowboarding, maybe skiing? Although i know how its just not for everyone. Sacrifices suck but if its worth it, go for it. Congrats on the big step though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 Vet school is hard to get in-way harder than med school, mainly because there are few vet schools and more med schools... Many times, the focus on getting into a school is all consuming and, once you are there, you can relax a bit and have more fun.... Take her with you riding, maybe not to ride intially, tell her she can hang out in the lodge and study.......then casually mention maybe studying in the am, riding as a study break in the pm..... Just a thought.... Oh, and don't think you are "sacrificing" to be with her, that can lead to resentment later. When I moved to N Houston from the coast to be with Sam, I thought mainly of the story of the pearl and the merchant. Once the merchant had found the prized pearl, he sold all that he had to buy it...not that I "bought" Sam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 oh...don't get me wrong... she comes to the mountain, skis with me occasionally, and enjoys it... I go to the mountain almost daily. Like I said she doesn't share my enthusiasm...but she does have her own. believe me...Cutting back wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. fewr days...more quality days...not really a sacrifice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 As long as you don't consider it a sacrifice, then it's ok. I for one think she's pretty lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinecure Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 Noah, Univ. Nevada Reno has a Vet school. You could live 45 minutes from Alpine, Squaw, Rose, etc. I'm sure someone out there needs a SB coach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 10, 2006 Report Share Posted May 10, 2006 oh...don't get me wrong...she comes to the mountain, skis with me occasionally, and enjoys it... I go to the mountain almost daily. Like I said she doesn't share my enthusiasm...but she does have her own. believe me...Cutting back wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. fewr days...more quality days...not really a sacrifice. I'm glad she skis.... going daily is a luxury very few people have....look at it this way....you have to cut back, but.....you get married, she becomes a vet to the stars or a TV vet or finds some gold mine.....she retires with a healthy investment portfolio and then.....you're riding everyday ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 yeah... that's what it is all about... give and take... not just take take take... my ex apologized to me today for being a flying a$$hole... we broke up 2 wks back... i asked what does that mean, he wants to be together again and he said that was a really tough decision because we have been through so much together and he loves me but that he cannot give me 110% like i deserve due to work responsibilities. he works insane hours and is always doing side jobs to make extra money... money and work are his priorities and i guess that's fair.... but in my eyes a pretty lame and stupid reason for not trying. he said it would take a lot of work and effort on his part and he just couldn't do it with all the deadlines (mostly self-imposed)... anyway if i want to 'hang out' some time that's ok but he can't give all that effort to a relationship now. blah. and for those of you who will read this and think 'that guy was just using her for (you know)'.. .you're dead wrong... some of our best days had nothing to do with that. er... well... um... now i'm gonna go stick my head in the oven. -end rant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Well at least he admits he's wrong. Thats pretty rare. Oh and i'm not taking his side, i'm just saying. I never takes sides. its sucks when relationships turn to relation****s (dane cook). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Ah, Ailsing, so sorry to hear it. Gleb does have a point, at least he is admitting he is wrong. However, I think it is only to alieviate his guilt, so he doesn't have to live with it. He can now go on with the idea in his head of "I have too many work responsibilities, and at least I told her" when the truth of the matter is he can't commit to anything that scares him in the least bit. "he loves me but that he cannot give me 110% like i deserve due to work responsibilities" - WHAT?? If you love someone it should take complete priority - no amount of money and no career should stand in the way. Those things are just excuses. Bottom line is, still sucks and Aisling I feel for you. BAck to the original post..... i'm tired of dating a$$holes. you guys are all such sweethearts where can i meet a nice guy for once? LOL:rolleyes:. Because that's what it boils down to - a guy who is in touch with himself and what he wants out of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Sometimes work does get in the way-like those 100 hour work weeks I had when I was a resident, then I was a mom too.... And then when I met Sam, I had my 2 little kids (2 and 4), my practice, and I was moonlighting to make ends meet....and I lived on the other side of town, but we made it work out with a little patience.... If a guy said to me "I can't give you the 110% you deserve"...I don't know how I'd take that, it almost sounds like he's shifting some of the blame to you... I'd almost think my reply would be "I don't deserve 110%, I deserve the security of knowing you are committed to me/us" Just my $0.02 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobdea Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Tufts in Grafton? that place is like heaven, sooooooooooo many hotties work there, I think thats part or the scam that they run there, makes it easier to hand you credit card over to a pretty face. We have brought a bunch of animals there, generally they charge twice as much as everyone else, if she is doing equine just make sure she knows that half of what they do there is hardly practical if she plans to go somewhere else. For other animals though like birds or dogs no place is better that I have seen. FYI, great danes are one hell of a chick magnet there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Sometimes work does get in the way-like those 100 hour work weeks I had when I was a resident, then I was a mom too....And then when I met Sam, I had my 2 little kids (2 and 4), my practice, and I was moonlighting to make ends meet....and I lived on the other side of town, but we made it work out with a little patience.... If a guy said to me "I can't give you the 110% you deserve"...I don't know how I'd take that, it almost sounds like he's shifting some of the blame to you... I'd almost think my reply would be "I don't deserve 110%, I deserve the security of knowing you are committed to me/us" Just my $0.02 skatha... i am not an overly demanding high maintenance beeyotch... thats the thing.. he kept ASSUMING that i would suddenly decide that i needed to see him every day or talk to him every day. i don't need that... i'm very independent and enjoy time with friends and time alone... i NEVER asked him to call me every day... he just projects that because of females he knows that do that. and when i pointed out that i've never been like that he couldn't say that i was... he said that i "would be" though... only time i got pissed and it became an argument was when he said he'd call me back and i didn't hear from him for days. he agreed he was wrong... but he takes that my being mad over that means i can't deal with him being so busy. he just doesn't get it or refuses to get it... either way... commitment phobia... its a damned shame. goes back to my original summation of guys are either up your ass (not literally) or commitment phobes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 (Quote from Noah)Glad you made it through OK. Now don't do that again. maybe you should reconsider the northern road trip, and go see Rusty ... I hear he may be worth it too... Thanks for getting my back again Noah. But Aisling would have to go west to find me now...way west. I moved to Colorado in December! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Ah, Ailsing, so sorry to hear it. Gleb does have a point, at least he is admitting he is wrong. However, I think it is only to alieviate his guilt, so he doesn't have to live with it. He can now go on with the idea in his head of "I have too many work responsibilities, and at least I told her" when the truth of the matter is he can't commit to anything that scares him in the least bit. "he loves me but that he cannot give me 110% like i deserve due to work responsibilities" - WHAT?? If you love someone it should take complete priority - no amount of money and no career should stand in the way. Those things are just excuses. Bottom line is, still sucks and Aisling I feel for you. BAck to the original post..... . Because that's what it boils down to - a guy who is in touch with himself and what he wants out of life. yep you're right michelle... i should be WORTH the time and effort and i really didn't ask a whole hell of a lot. in fact it was HIM who was calling and texting me EVERY day before he hit his busy season with the warmer weather coming in. he is scared and admitted that to me as well... so its fine and dandy to admit those things and own up to them and apologize but its all just words... so you're scared, everyone gets scared... but would you rather wind up old, and alone, with only your job and your dog because you don't take the time to nurture your relationships? he doesn't even call his guy friends back for days either... it's like he doesn't want to work at all on the people who matter... only work matters. but when you're old i'm sure you don't regret not working harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 (Quote from Noah)Glad you made it through OK. Now don't do that again. maybe you should reconsider the northern road trip, and go see Rusty ... I hear he may be worth it too...Thanks for getting my back again Noah. But Aisling would have to go west to find me now...way west. I moved to Colorado in December! congrats on the move, rusty... you and a friend of mine both moved there last year :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 commitment phobia... its a damned shame.goes back to my original summation of guys are either up your ass (not literally) or commitment phobes. I'm defintly not up for commitment but I dont get why he put his job above friends and a relationship. I guess its best to find out his true priorities now than much much later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 congrats on the move, rusty... you and a friend of mine both moved there last year :) Well then, now you have three reasons to come out for a visit...your friend, me and Michelle. (not to mention the mountains, parks, city life, blah blah blah) In fact you can join Michelle and myself at the Tiki Bar on the lake...it's supposed to be a really cool spot. Rusty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 WAIT AISLING!!! I think I know this guy! Yep, I can probably tell you his name. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Well then, now you have three reasons to come out for a visit...your friend, me and Michelle. (not to mention the mountains, parks, city life, blah blah blah)In fact you can join Michelle and myself at the Tiki Bar on the lake...it's supposed to be a really cool spot. Rusty Once again Rusty, promises Promises..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Once again Rusty, promises Promises..... Come on now...cut me a bit of slack, it's not even open yet. Besides you're supposed to let me know when... I'm going to A-basin on Sat. to play in the slush with a couple of friends...BBQ/beers in the parking lot...you know the drill. Wanna go? Give me a ring. P.S. I'm going home over memorial day...might be able to grab some more wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted May 11, 2006 Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 I'd almost think my reply would be "I don't deserve 110%, I deserve the security of knowing you are committed to me/us"Just my $0.02 Gleb, I think she has the answer right there pal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 WAIT AISLING!!! I think I know this guy! :rolleyes: LOL Michelle... the irony of it all is that HE was the one chasing ME... HE was the one calling and texting ME everyday... and once he got his way and we were together things were great... then he just snapped and as he got busier and busier with work all the talk about wanting more time with me seemed to be less important. i figure by the time he realizes what he let walk away from him someone else will have scooped me up and it will be too late... so he better hope his dog lives a long life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Gleb, I think she has the answer right there pal. yep skatha had a nice answer to that... if only she was there to coach me on the convo! LOL :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 11, 2006 Well then, now you have three reasons to come out for a visit...your friend, me and Michelle. (not to mention the mountains, parks, city life, blah blah blah)In fact you can join Michelle and myself at the Tiki Bar on the lake...it's supposed to be a really cool spot. Rusty well you're right there rusty... i'll have to make some time :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 Thanks for getting my back again Noah. But Aisling would have to go west to find me now...way west. I moved to Colorado in December! you lucky bastard...smart too. Oh well...Guess now I'll have to start working to get you and michelle together! I guess that means you party here in NH is off t his year? Darn...I was gonna make it this year too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts