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OT: waaaaaaay OT....


Aisling

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Guest Randy S.

Hey! We must have won the ware on Terror! Cause W now has time for the FBI to take on Porn. Not kiddie porn or something really reprehensible like that, just good 'ol porn like we watch at work and when we need help rubbing one out before bed. WTF? Check out this article in the Washington Post

If they are successful what am I going to do for fun? Clearly I'm not going to get lucky with Aisling or Michelle, the only two single women carvers in the world. So what's left? Pron is my life for crying out loud. Well, that and carving. Well, we've seen how effective the FBI is, so I guess we're probably safe.

Here's the full text in case the link dies or requires registration:

Recruits Sought for Porn Squad

By Barton Gellman

Washington Post Staff Writer

Tuesday, September 20, 2005; A21

The FBI is joining the Bush administration's War on Porn. And it's looking for a few good agents.

Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad. Attached to the job posting was a July 29 Electronic Communication from FBI headquarters to all 56 field offices, describing the initiative as "one of the top priorities" of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and, by extension, of "the Director." That would be FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III.

Mischievous commentary began propagating around the water coolers at 601 Fourth St. NW and its satellites, where the FBI's second-largest field office concentrates on national security, high-technology crimes and public corruption.

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against "manufacturers and purveyors" of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."

Among friends and trusted colleagues, an experienced national security analyst said, "it's a running joke for us."

A few of the printable samples:

"Things I Don't Want On My Resume, Volume Four."

"I already gave at home."

"Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves."

Federal obscenity prosecutions, which have been out of style since Attorney General Edwin Meese III in the Reagan administration made pornography a signature issue in the 1980s, do "encounter many legal issues, including First Amendment claims," the FBI headquarters memo noted.

Applicants for the porn squad should therefore have a stomach for the kind of material that tends to be most offensive to local juries. Community standards -- along with a prurient purpose and absence of artistic merit -- define criminal obscenity under current Supreme Court doctrine.

"Based on a review of past successful cases in a variety of jurisdictions," the memo said, the best odds of conviction come with pornography that "includes bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior." No word on the universe of other kinks that helps make porn a multibillion-dollar industry.

Popular acceptance of hard-core pornography has come a long way, with some of its stars becoming mainstream celebrities and their products -- once confined to seedy shops and theaters -- being "purveyed" by upscale hotels and most home cable and satellite television systems. Explicit sexual entertainment is a profit center for companies including General Motors Corp. and Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. (the two major owners of DirecTV), Time Warner Inc. and the Sheraton, Hilton, Marriott and Hyatt hotel chains.

But Gonzales endorses the rationale of predecessor Meese: that adult pornography is a threat to families and children. Christian conservatives, long skeptical of Gonzales, greeted the pornography initiative with what the Family Research Council called "a growing sense of confidence in our new attorney general."

Congress began funding the obscenity initiative in fiscal 2005 and specified that the FBI must devote 10 agents to adult pornography. The bureau decided to create a dedicated squad only in the Washington Field Office. "All other field offices may investigate obscenity cases pursuant to this initiative if resources are available," the directive from headquarters said. "Field offices should not, however, divert resources from higher priority matters, such as public corruption."

Public corruption, officially, is fourth on the FBI's priority list, after protecting the United States from terrorist attack, foreign espionage and cyber-based attacks. Just below those priorities are civil rights, organized crime, white-collar crime and "significant violent crime." The guidance from headquarters does not mention where pornography fits in.

"The Department of Justice and the Federal Bureau of Investigation's top priority remains fighting the war on terrorism," said Justice Department press secretary Brian Roehrkasse. "However, it is not our sole priority. In fact, Congress has directed the department to focus on other priorities, such as obscenity."

At the FBI's field office, spokeswoman Debra Weierman expressed disappointment that some of her colleagues find grist for humor in the new campaign. "The adult obscenity squad . . . stems from an attorney general mandate, funded by Congress," she said. "The personnel assigned to this initiative take the responsibility of this assignment very seriously and are dedicated to the success of this program."

© 2005 The Washington Post Company

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Did you apply Randy?

anyway.....

To Be 6 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back

and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far

off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of

Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

What a day ! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the

Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster,... everything there

was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was

reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with

extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,

M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she wobbled home with her

husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what

was it like being six again ??

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

I meant my Dress Size, you dumb a** !!

The moral of the story. . even when a man is listening, he is going to get

it wrong.

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Guest Randy S.
Guys, what if the girl of your dreams takes off her shoes and you see this? Gives me the willies just lookin at it

:eek:

WTF?

Definitely issues going on there. She's going to have problems with the Thermo liners fitting properly. Of course if we've gotten to the point of taking shoes off, that's going to make for a point of conversation. I wonder about women with really long fingernails (they can't be very athletic or active if they can keep up nails like that), but those nails are really something.

Michelle, now you need to post some pics of your finger/toenails! :1luvu:

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My toes go free all summer, and if it wasn't for the snow, they'd go free year round! That was great about Thailand, no one wears more than flip flops all the time. Actually my toes are viewable on BOL, if you search hard enough. And my fingernails, well, they ain't nothing to talk about. Those things get in the way, just like Diamonds and those Tiaras. :)

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what the.... ya know... this girl i work with was telling me that longer toenails are "in"... but that's just ridiculous.

i have to keep mine neat and short (toenails) for dance. fingernails... i got tips once. ONCE. i can't see how women work with those things on there. it's practically impossible. i keep my fingernails at back scratching length. LOL

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Export? How about you export yourself and Michelle over here??? Might even make all your local guys realise what they have been missing out on right under their noses! Otherwise, come to SES. I will be there (for what that's worth) along with one of my best mates who all the girls here reckon is great.

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Here we go....Post #100 :biggthump

Phil, didn't you realise that's why the Brits sent us convicts overe here in the first place. They were scared we'd take all the good women and the race would be left to wither into insignificance....oh, gee, seems like that happened anyway! haha

But if you Americans didn't want us to come take your girls too, you shouldn't have pushed globalisation and affordable mass transport to us. So if you hadn't done that, we wouldn't be invading the world (so to speak). :eplus2:

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Guest Randy S.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had told their

new wives what their household duties were to be. The first man had

married a woman from Tennessee. He bragged that he had told his wife

she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took

a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and

the dishes were done.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he

had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and

the cooking. On the first day he didn't see any results, but the next

day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes

were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from BomberOnline. He boasted that he told

her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn

mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said

the first day he didn't see anything,

the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the

swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye -

just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, find a

cleaning lady, and telephone a landscaper.

Gotta love those BOL girls.

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