John Gilmour Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 I have to cougar dodge nearly every day.. fake boobs, fake lips, botox, facelifts... . Forget DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES think desperate divorcees. If only they at least looked like Bryce Kellogg- ski with a Cougar for a week and you are branded as their mate.. its weird out here. You have to ride alone. But... I do know a woman who was in ASPEN EXTREME as an extra... But...it gets better. I had an extra room to rent out out and parking space. Some very blonde sounding person answered the parking space ad thinking it was for an apartment. The said they were two South African girls 21, and 26 years old looking for a place and would split a room and share a full size bed.. So I gave them a "Gilmour Ski Deal". I rented the room out for $600 each ($1200 total) .. and they will work my hot chocolate cart and be hostesses for the MIT students I am bringing in for my wind power project and move with me while I rent out my place. The 26 year old works in a pet store and takes care of my turtles. The 21 year old (Dutch and German) is the most attractive girl in Aspen- not kidding , the hottest one living here I have seen in a year. 5' 9" Long blonde hair- perfect features...Slim and fit - flat flat flat stomach- yes you could run a true bar on it....with legs that go on forever..Stunning.. I rented to her sight unseen. I love when my roommates come home... how unusual. She is the best cougar repellent a man could wish for- the hungry Cougars look at their prey (me) and realize that they can't attract squat with her around, and go onto their next victim. I dialed her in last night to her bindings (19.5 " stance) long legs- taking her snowboarding tomorrow. Plus they are super polite and helpful- like having Au Paires around the house. They vaccuum, clean , do all the dishes, laundry- they even iron my sheets! ... now I have to teach them to wax and scrape snowboards. She works at boogies- so all my BlueJeans are discounted. She invited me to come stay with her this offseason in Port Elizabeth South Africa to go kiting. With the two girls in the same tiny bed they can never have guys sleep over.. its perfect. I now have no reason to ever leave my condo except to snowboard. Even Bryce Kellogg would stay away if she saw this... ________ BONG REVIEW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 they should have a Reality Show "Aspen Cougar Den" starring JG. like Penthouse letters but in HDTV.:lol: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gNKip_D0m8&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gNKip_D0m8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMq9yLGV4Ts&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMq9yLGV4Ts&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Gilmour Posted December 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 the cougars here are far worse than in the video... maybe I should get some of that cologne to repel them.. I think I'll take some shots of Aspens worst cougars this year. ________ Mflb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 :lol: http://jezebel.com/379487/demi-moore-curiously-absent-from-snl-cougars-skit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dano Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 SO how much are you going to charge for the "Hot roomate" video? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 SO how much are you going to charge for the "Hot roomate" video? "Cougars Gone Wild/ Asspen Extreme" on a sad note, just heard about this: :( The Aspen Valley and the ski racing community suffered a tragic loss on Saturday. Brian grew up in the valley, was an NCAA div 1 all american at CU, owned Saxy's in Boulder and Basalt and had just started a flight school at the Aspen Airport. Super passionate, and a very large personality in town. Always had a smile on his face. He was doing some advanced training in Fl and his twin engine piper hit a single engine cessna. Survided by three children and his wife Christy. This is so tragic, it is hard to comprehend. A great friend, super father and husband and all around Joy to be around. Send vibes for the family and friends. http://www.vaildaily.com/article/20081208/NEWS/812089985/1078&ParentProfile=1062&title=Aspen's%20Bryan%20Sax%20dies%20in%20plane%20crash Memorial service to he heald this week in Aspen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 so lame , I mean....GOOD JOB ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 "Lucky me... yep. And her favorite Movie star is Robert Downey Junior- and my hair is now all cut off to be the same length as the guy in Iron Man- I might even dupe the goatee..." Do it ! DOOOOOO it !" I really thought the sam elliot thing was working for ya :rolleyes: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmUZGdi7Ty4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmUZGdi7Ty4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RDY_2_Carve Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 This thread is useless without PICS!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueB Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 I was about to say the same (couldn't find that silly little graphic)! I guess we'll see them about the same time as the full 360 by the same author ;) Btw, Port Elizabeth should be one of the best kiting spots on Earth - they call it Windy Town. Big sandy beaches, big wawes... Ah almost forgot, Big Whites, too. As a former South African resident, I can also confirm that percentage of the blonde hotties of Afrikaaner (Dutch) descent is pretty high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 I was about to say the same (couldn't find that silly little graphic)! I guess we'll see them about the same time as the full 360 by the same author ;) Btw, Port Elizabeth should be one of the best kiting spots on Earth - they call it Windy Town. Big sandy beaches, big wawes... Ah almost forgot, Big Whites, too. As a former South African resident, I can also confirm that percentage of the blonde hotties of Afrikaaner (Dutch) descent is pretty high. word ! my buddy goetz lives in Capetown with his wife and 2 kids, he's from Munich, she's from Capetown(she's super hot, awonderful person, clothes designer),I met them both kitesurfing in Oahu years ago and we still stay in touch.her name is Anka , she has such a great accent. he says you can hear the whales signing from their balcony, tons of sharks and a dangerous place to live, but beautiful. but what I really wanna say is.....the dutch are great people ! http://www.yrus.com/ interesting designs. click on the right side blocks edit: found it http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.ikiteboarding.com/get/getnewsarticleimage.aspx%3Fid%3D277&imgrefurl=http://www.ikiteboarding.com/kiteboarding/news/83/port-elizabeth-national-kitesurfing-championships.aspx&h=375&w=500&sz=79&tbnid=G1s3avCtcgIJ::&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3DPort%2BElizabeth%2Bkitesurfing%2Bimages&usg=__xwJ111jDVu-sL5ePeOhNGyhjBSA=&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=2&ct=image&cd=1 <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRtNfb6D3Mc&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRtNfb6D3Mc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xcEmjf6phQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xcEmjf6phQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueB Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Anka? Sure it would be Anitje, pronounced somewaht as Aneake... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Anka? Sure it would be Anitje, pronounced somewaht as Aneake... just checked götz & anke Scheffel their boys are Samson & Timo have ya seen hadlow's insane kite vid in capetown ? http://www.hadlowpro.com/ we're goin off topic, here. rut row, george we were in the dutch country a year ago. if it's not dutch, it's CRAP ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueB Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 if it's not dutch, it's CRAP ! In my best broken Afrikaans: "Is dit nie Nederlandse nie - dit is skat!" :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Gilmour Posted December 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 well if you can believe it... these two girls are near impossible to understand. They mentioned going Ass Skatin the other day... I thought..hmm sounds weird. I love "Smooth Ass" she said. South African translation... .... Ice skating. Smooth ice. ________ K-Series Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueB Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Sounds like I need to come visit you guys, to help brake the language barrier ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinecure Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 We need pics. Now Now (yes, that South African for now - "now" means sometime soon "now now" means now! Nekkid pics preferred, but this is BOL so simply sexy ones will do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser Soze Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 we were in the dutch country a year ago. if it's not dutch, it's CRAP ! Good look on having the can of Heinie while in Amsterdam. I was there in the summer, but the factory was closed. Did you go for the tour? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willywhit Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 closest I got to the factory was the old horse drawn carriage, we only had 2 days there. it was a side trip from Paris before going to Rome. Saw some great windmills, seriously. it was this time of year, the "Cup" was going on but winding down. gotta go back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyser Soze Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 closest I got to the factory was the old horse drawn carriage, we only had 2 days there. it was a side trip from Paris before going to Rome. Saw some great windmills, seriously. it was this time of year, the "Cup" was going on but winding down. gotta go back. Yeah man, we were there for about four days, vintage shopping was crazy, and we were at our last stop from a Euro trip that went Paris, Marseille, Nice, Monaco, Genoa, Rome, Milan, Venice, Milan again, Amsterdam. 19 hours on the train from Milan to Amsterdam considering we had to stop in southern Germany due to problems with the train. Dope shot of you in front of the coffeeshop, the second pic is me in a coffeeshop called "Picking Up The Pieces". It was a crazy four days... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_roboteye Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 ... now I have to teach them to wax and scrape snowboards. That is the single best line out of the whole story. It wouldn't get much better than sitting drinking beer watching a tasty dish wax your stick.....err board. After the part about the blonde with the long legs, I kept saying "You bastard" under my breath. later, Dave R. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Stevens Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 They're probably super-stoked to have found some late season accom in a landlords market, at a good rate provided by some grizzled old dude they won't have to... And parking to boot! What? Me? Bitter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Gilmour Posted December 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 They just toss themselves at you at the Oakley parties... amazing what open bar will do- I lined up 20 Gilmour (chambourd, Absolut, 7-up, 3 lemon wedges, on the rocks) drinks to see the three of us thorough out the night.. My cougar protectors left me for a second and I was going to be jumped... I had to say "no , You can't make out with me- because my Ex-GF is over there and I would not want to hurt her feelings." We all scored custom Oakley goggles... took forever to put the lenses in. Digging my Au Paire flanking... they really hold off the older cougars... the 23 year old was not deterred (tried to pull a lip lock as soon as they got up) which is odd since typically Ultra hotness makes regular good looking girls very uncomfortable.. I can not understand why people would not want to come out and carve now...before the ridiculous snowstorms hit.(17 inches in next 3 days) .but I could see why some wives would not think it is a great idea. She wiped out pretty hard first day - hit her tailbone.. I got her some padded DBS.. So far she is the best cougar protection I have ever had. When they approach she says "HI! We are Roooommates!" and the cougars think of what she would look like in a nighty ..and well... and if that is not enough she has a sexy accent and is extremely well mannered and elegant... I really could have used her help last year. the one on the left top/bottom right -is my roommate... taking her riding tomorrow. And no BOL'ers .. she is just a friend... but she will make some lucky guy a perfect wife. This thread is useless without PICS!!! couldn't you guys just have taken my word for it?________ Volcano Vaporizer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Gilmour Posted December 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 That way maybe she will be good enough to ride at SES. But she has like noooo gear... (Except goggles) She has to wear all my snowboard clothing. But I'm working on my Marmot connection. I still need some easy flexing alpine board for her and some 27.0 mondo point boots. And of course some easy to deal with bindings...like F2's. I have an old set of Bomber 1's..... but they might be a little too stiff for her to start on. My goal is to make her carve better than Ray's wife. I missed out on a easy flexing alpine board an older REV... was only $5. She needs an 18cm board.. who knows maybe I can put her on an original 158 with a pair of Bombers or Cateks.. Boots are the real difficult part. I'm not sure she will have the guts to really carve though. She might have to be more James Bond Girl (not the nice ones..the tough villian girls) to really hurl herself down the hill. The other South African girl refuses to do any snow sports at all. ________ Toyota hilux surf history Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 JG I can put on a half decent Saffa accent and I'm prepared to leave the wife at home this SES if that is what it takes!!! Seriously dude, you must have done something SERIOUSLY right to score karma like this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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