tufty

Likewise for the French Alps. I'll happily put you up for free*. Simon * a pair of OS2s should cover the food and wine bill :)

The racers get their skis made sandwich for exactly the same reason quoted by Sean, viz "repeatability on a short run". It would be stupidly, prohibitively, expensive to tool up for a run of cap-produced skis and then only make a single pair of skis. All you're seeing there is the big lie - that super-expensive consumer "race" skis have any relationship at all to "race" race skis beyond "they come in pairs". Race skis are made for the racer, and are made to be thrown away - make a pair, racer doesn't like them for X reason, throw them away, tweak design, make a new pair, lather rinse repeat. The racers get what they want, not what they are given.

Last year. On proper, straight, wooden, skis with screw-on edges. It was - umm - interesting... For boarding - I gave my soft boots and binders away a couple of years back.

Colombian cartel rider Lozada adds a new meaning to "cutting into the lift line"

"I spend all my time teaching beginners, and it was falling over all the time when it was leant against the cabin on the bunny slope. 10 minutes with a disc cutter and it stands up a treat now." Boris - I assume there's no way you can change resort? Really, with the crap you go through every year, surely it's worth looking elsewhere? I'm changing resorts this winter, after having resigned 3 weeks into the last season (as a liftie rather than a teacher, but basically much the same sort of bull**** all round) The idea of "knacked, gutted, softboots to camouflage hardboots" is amusing, but probably counterproductive in the end. Still, if you want a pair of fuxx0red softies to gut, I can find some. As long as you promise to cut them down the back and add some velcro, and video the "HAH! I've been teaching in hardboots ALL ALONG!" moment at the end of the season when you tear them off dramatically in front of management, revealing hardboots and plates :)

Cry me a river. We pay $8.20 per gallon and more over here.

Philw, that's unfair - there's a fair amount of alpine in France in general, not certain about Valtho, not been there for a while. Hell, my "little" (and I really do mean "little", 70km of slopes) resort would have 4 or 5 "tourist" alpiners a week, plus the 3 or 4 of us that work in the resort, and a couple of skwallers - you will probably see a few alpiners about, but expect to have to speak french to them. Or Dutch, in Valtho. The slopes are mainly big, long, wide, open and well groomed. It's really bloody good for carving, but depending on when you go, plan to get up early to get any decent cord. Weather is liable to be your main problem - it's relatively high up and exposed, high winds will shut down a fair chunk of the resort.

Ah, ****sticks, that sucks. Get well.

Yep, a snowboard will go, all on its own, until it flips, digs in, or is stopped by something. That's why they need leashes. The same goes for skis without brakes on the bindings (mainly older cross-country skis). Having seen the damage a runaway board can do on a bunny slope, and the amount of blood a child can lose before the ambulance arrives, and having seen the owner of said board hauled off by the boys in blue, there's no way I'd ever advocate not using one. Now, when do you "lose" a board? The main risk is when you're attaching your first foot, at the top of the slope, after coming out of the gondola / restaurant. I've been boarding for longer than I care to remember, and have done this myself several times, especially with step-in bindings (My clickers were especially good at this, you'd click in your front foot, a bit of snow or ice would have gunked up the mech, you lift the foot to turn the board, and "whoosh"). Attaching the leash *first* needs to be second nature. The other danger point (for those with bail bindings) is chairlifts - I've managed to have the footrest pop off my front binding accidentally a couple of times, *always* over a slope, and *always* saved by the leash. It's not generally when you're carrying it, although it's generally worth holding onto the leash in case of tripping / slipping / whatever. Having a binding tear loose with the leash attached is no more of an issue (and probably less so) than having a ski binding tear loose or having the sole of a skiboot come free from the rest of the boot (yes, I've seen both of these happen), both of which result in a free ski hurtling off in the general direction of "away"; to lose a board in this way you'd have to tear both binders off, in which case, losing your board is probably the least of your worries. I've never seen anyone delbrately throw a board down the hill. I've seen people sledding down the hill on their boards, and losing the board, but never deliberately chucking an expensive bit of gear downhill to see what would happen. Maybe I've just been lucky, maybe there are people that frickin' psychotic. Now, I don't wear a helmet when I ride, but that's my life at risk. I wouldn't consider not wearing a leash, because that's other people's lives. Simon

Funny that. I was out last Saturday with a bunch of people I sorta know, mostly skiers, and they had an (advanced) lesson booked with a teacher, so I tagged along with my kid. Teacher clocked me as a liftie, and I spent a fair amount of my time doing translations, but hey. Anyway, in the group are two other boarders. They sorta look at my rig (fluo green Hot Blast slalom board and a pair of Raichles) a bit sideways to start with, do the "is that like a snowboard" thing. Fair enough, I explain what it's about, why I can't be doing with softboots, etc, and one of the boarders starts coming over to my side - "hey, yeah, these bloody softies hurt my feet too, those things are *comfortable*?". Bask in glory of being "different", so probably "mad ****in' skillz" So, 15 minutes in, and the other boarder (who is, frankly, no slouch, probably faster than me in a straight line) comes up to me, and mutters "where can I get one of those things? What you're doing's ****ing cool". So I spent the rest of the time, inbetween translation, finding flattish spots and teaching two softbooters to do the norm, and trying to remember where the local shops that used to hire hard gear are. Turns out the teacher is also a hardbooter, but has his hands full with a bunch of skiiers, so is happy for me to take the boarders off his hands. Plus, I've just sorted him with a 2 hour carving lesson the next day :) Also, he's up for a good hardcore carve sesh once the holidays are over, so that's a date. And then off for a session on the blacks with my mate (who's also a ski teacher) and my son (who's 8, and a vastly better skiier than I will ever be) - they went for the crusty crud by the sides, and I went blasting through the moguls. A good day. Simon

Keep the round end of the board at the front. Oh. Damn.

Probably that, yeah. I've never seen a helo setup for recco, but I've used the portable version (in training only, thank gh0d), it's very small. Simon

I can't ride softies any more, although I am perfectly willing to admit that this may well be because I suck rather than the softie concept. For me, it's a purely comfort thing, I cannot (or, rather, have never managed to) get softboots that fit properly, and even those that seemed relatively comfortable then became painful when combined with ratcheting the straps down enough. About the only system that even came close to suiting me was Clicker, and there's so little choice of boots in that range that "it either fits a bit or it doesn't"... Sure, I could probably blow a huge wedge of cash on some top of the range softies, super-comfortable bombproof bindings and a special board for my softies, but I'd rather spend it on cheese, alcohol, and porn*. Simon * cheese optional

At the end of last season I was *this* (makes little space between thumb and forefinger) close. It needs fair amount of speed and a lot of balls (getting it wrong early on in the carve means an eject), and the right hill (and a board that will turn on that bit of the hill). I believe I'll be able to nail it this season by cheating and coming in sideways-on to the slope, so the first part happens going uphill and gravity helps you round the rest. My attempts last year, I got *loads* closer toeside. Go figure. Simon

hip flask of gnole (100%+ proof fruit brandy, plum by preference). Who needs food? If you're really hungry, you can head down to the bunny slope and eat a child or two.

Almost all helmets should be considered to be single use. By which, of course, I don't mean "wear it once and bin it", but as soon as it's taken a single big whack, in the bin it goes, it's done its job, even if it looks okay. A helmet has 2 jobs. The first and most obvious is to protect against abrasion and "puncture", using its outer shell; the second, and most important, is to absorb the shock of impact, thus reducing the impact on your grey matter. The helmets in question are ASTM F 2040 certified, so should be okay. As for standards, time to pull this one out again this one again, it's related to motorcycle helmets, but about all that changes is temperatures, energies and the type of anvils used. Okay, that's quite a lot, but food for thought anyway : http://www.motorcyclistonline.com/gearbox/motorcycle_helmet_review/ There are 3 major ski/board helmet tests, which can be summed up as follows: CE 1077. Specifies a maximum peak acceleration of the headform of 250G when hit against a flat anvil from a 1.5m drop with an energy of 95J for a large helmet. There's also a puncture test. ASTM F 2040. Specifies a maximum peak acceleration of the headform of 300G. No puncture test, but multiple hits on flat, hemisperical and edge anvils. Energies involved slightly higher than CE1077 (98J and a 2m drop). Snell RS-28. Again, 300Gs, 100J and 2m drop this time. Has a penetration test, and is the only one that covers testing chin bars on full-face helmets Some helmets also meet ASTM F 1492 (multiple impact for skate helmets), which means you can treat them as more than one-time use. But one of the most important things, no matter what standards the helmet you choose meets, is that it fits, and fits properly. If it's uncomfortable, you won't wear it. If it blocks vision, you're more likely to have accidents. If it makes a lot of noise at speed, you're more likely to have accidents. And if it's too loose, you can forget about the rated Gs in case of an accident. Fit comes first, price comes later. Simon

I should probably have said "if" not "when" they fall over, generally it passes without incident. With a close stance and softy setup, it's actually pretty easy to do a chair with both feet attached. With high angles and wide stance it's a bit different, of course, but it's generally recommended (ast least over here, and with signage to that effect) to detach a foot. On drags, I never detach my feet, I find it much easier to do drag lifts with both feet "in". oh, and monoski :lol: Simon

I thought I'd already told this one, but it appears not. It's a few years ago, and I'm working on a 3-seater chair at the bottom of the resort. Right in the middle of the school holidays, so it's packed, a good 15-20 minutes of queueing to get on at peak times. And it's a peak time. The lift itself is *old* (it's being decomissioned this year in fact). Runs at 2.5m/s, with permanently attached chairs; it can be painful to get onto even if you know what you're doing - it gives you a vicious thwack to the calves if you're not perfectly positioned and paying attention. And we have a few technical problems, one of the "go/stop" gates isn't working, and the other two won't lock shut, so we have to have an eye on them at all times. All of which makes for some very tiring days. Anyway, back to the story. Notice a guy approaching the gates on a softie setup, standard jibber gear, camo jacket, trousers with waisband at ankle level, studded belt, the usual, all his gear looks *absolutely brand spanking new*. And he has both feet attached, which is making his life hard given the number of people about and the fact that the approach is slightly uphill. He's also pissing a lot of people off with his hop and shuffle approach. So, wander over do the usual "this is a bit of a tough lift, it's generally recommended to detach a foot, makes it much easier to get on, you can always re-attach the second foot once you're on and the bar is down" schmooze. "Nah, do this all the time", says he (well, that, but in French.) "Okay, but be careful", say I, and don't push the matter. So he makes it to the gate, but misses the fact that the other gates have opened, as he's at the one gate that doesn't work. Panics, big heave on the bars, shoots forwards completely out of control as the chair comes round the corner (the lift is already stopping, as I've seen what's about to happen and hit the e-stop, but these things take time), makes a heroic "save" (dive toeside, makes probably the nicest carve he's ever made in my runway) and swerves off the runway. His board stops *direct* as it hits the rubber matting, and he's catapulted face first into a big pile of snow. A bit embarassing, but not entirely his fault, and he's not been hurt by either the chair or the shovel he missed by a couple of inches. So, we restart the lift, and dig him out, tell him to go back and try again. "no, no, from the gates, don't go to the end of the queue, you've already done your queue time", I yell, but he's already gone. So, 15 minutes later, and he's back. 2 feet still attached. I point out he should have just rejoined the line at the gates, not right at the end of teh queue, and apologise for his additional queueing time. I also make a pointed, "eyebrows raised" look at his feet, he acknowledges, I shrug, and we're ready to go. The gate opens, he doesn't want to be late, makes a massive heave on the bars, shoots down the runway and, due to the two skiers accompanying him, can't turn his board to stop - instead he continues direct into the pit at the end. I'm laughing as I help him out (I've done this particular manoevre myself), again nothing injured other than pride and another 2 minute e-stop of the lift. Back into the queue he goes, but this time I make *sure* he doesn't go to the end of the queue - 45 minutes queueing for a lift would be a bit much, after all. So, he's back at the gates. Both feet attached, again. I make a sign to the skiers who would otherwise have gone off with him not to advance, to let him go alone. At least that way he can stop, and he'll be able to get on the damn chair; a chair with one person on is a waste, but it's better than another e-stop, especially at peak time. So, off he goes, a bit less heroic with the push-off this time, slides his board to a graceful stop at the end of the runway. Result! Except, he's stood there, with his board at 90° to the runway, body rigid, looking directly ahead. The inevitable happens; the chair arrives "unexpectedly", smacks into his calves at 2.5m/s, he digs the toeside edge of the board into the runway and is catapulted, at approximately 2.5m/s, into the pit. Another e-stop, and I go to see if he's alright. He lifts his face out of the snow and says angrily "you did that on purpose!", unstraps his board, and stomps off to the car park - I never saw him again. I would have tried to calm him down, but the "on purpose" thing had done for me, there's no way I could have spoken to him without laughing. And now, if anyone falls in the pit, my colleagues turn round to me and say say "you did that on purpose" The "busted gates" thing can lead to other unintended hilarity, too. Last year the trigger unit busted on another lift, leading to an instance of 8 people trying to get on a 4 seater chair... Simon

Re: Carrying your (only) board up - likely to be disallowed unless the lift has a special dispensation for pedestrians (usually with timetables and so on). Re: Rear foot only attached - much more common than you think, a good way of weeding out those who really didn't ought to be taking the lift that only goes up to blacks and reds at the end of the day. Both feet attached is another good one, we usually point out politely that it's recommended to detach a foot, but if the client insists, they we let them get on with it, then laugh when they fall over[2]. Re: asking the lifty to look after your board - generally a good plan, especially if you're using one of them newfangled monoskiboard things :) Resort disclaimers notwithstanding, your board will be a *lot* safer in the lifty's cabin than attached to a rack or stood up in the snow outside a restaurant. Simon I thought I'd posted about this before, but obviously not. Time for another one in the funny stories thread.

Depends which model you're looking at. Nordica make a lot of boots :) The TR series are touring boots, and frankly are horrible to ski in, way too floppy. Okay for going uphill, though, which is what they are built for, although they are very heavy (3500g the pair) compared to a lot of the newer boots out there (Dynafit ZZeros, Scarpa Denalis and the like, which generally weigh in at 1800g or so). As boarding boots they are okayish, although you may need to "carve", if you'll forgive the pun, the heel a bit to make it fit into your bindings (I had to with my now-deceased TR9s). You've got no lean adjustment, only "locked" and "walk" mode, and they are relatively *very* flexible fore-aft even in locked mode, more flexy than the older Raichle SB series, at least. They also have a long sole compared to a specific boarding boot. Their real benefit is as a lifty boot, as they are dead comfortable "all day wear" when you've not got your skis or board on, and they have vibram soles, which is handy for going up pylons. Binned my TR9s at the end of last season, after managing to crack the shells irreparably, have replaced them with a pair of K5.1 alpine ski boots (secondhand, 29€). Not the same thing at all :) AT boots are not a *terrible* option for boarding, but you're better off with something more adapted, IMO. Simon

Taking a second board shouldn't be an issue, but I'd tend to take it in a bag or with something to protect the edges. Generally speaking, if we have to deal with this situation (fairly common with race training), we are required to put attach "additional equipment" to the chair (where I work, as we have no specific board holders on the side of the chairs, the easiest way is lifting the seat of a second chair, putting the board / skis underneath, and then putting the seat back down to hold it in place). Obviously, this is a bit of a pain, as it involves stopping the lift at least when you arrive ("loading" can be done with the lift in motion if you're good enough at your job), so some lifties will let you carry additional equipment yourself, but you will have to demonstrate that it's somehow attached, and can't fall and hurt someone, as well as convincing them that you can get on and off the lift without hurting yourself or anyone else. A lot of this will depend on the attitude of the staff you encounter, and how busy the lift is at the time you want to take it. Be friendly, and ask nicely (might be worth asking the resort management nicely before hitting the lift, they tend to be fairly understanding but might give you a specific timeframe where you'll be allowed to do it). Simon

Now, I know nothing about the way the American system works, and what the legalities are, but, over here in stalinist frenchistan, it generally works this way: Most resorts are on a mixture of public and private land, and the company running the resort has special permission to do x, y and z to that land (specifically, to place and use lifts, to run groomers, snowmaking equipment, etc). This all costs money, and generally speaking they aren't doing it from the goodness of their hearts, so they need to sell something. In fact, they sell 2 things... Product 1 is lift passes. These are a *just* a transport ticket, and give you the right to use the lifts as long as your equipment is in the "acceptable" list (sledges are definitely not allowed, for example, where I work we don't allow "snow scoots", snowskates or noboards either, the rule is basically that you need to have your equipment attached to your feet), and as long as you are not causing a danger to others (not drunk, for example). The second product is rescues. Now that's an interesting one, because French law makes it illegal to leave someone in a life threatening situation, but rescues are a product. Either you buy your insurance before skiing (which is a bloody good idea) or you pay when you are rescued (which is bloody expensive). Your insurance (apart from 3rd party insurance) is *only* valid in conjunction with a valid lift pass. Once you're on the mountain (with or without "authorised" equipment), there's very little than can be done. If you hike up with sledges, for example, you *will* get told to fsck off by the patrollers, mainly for "endangering others", but they can't actually throw you off the mountain, they would have to call the police, who would have to arrest you. If you hurt someone with your sledge, of course, you will get involved in a lawsuit, but that's a purely private affair between you and your victim. As an aside, this (sledges) is a major issue where I work, at the bottom of the slopes there's an "authorised" sledging area, all netted off and "at your own risk", but about 100 yards away there is the final wall of a nice blue run; it's steep, icy, and easily accessible by foot (and worse, from the terrace of the road-accessible bar). So, there are regularly idiots who decide to sledge on it, utterly ignorant of the facts that they can't be seen by skiers coming over the top and hitting the wall, and that if they manage to sledge down without wiping out, they are going to arrive, mach schnell, in the ski school meeting area, which is often full of several hundred kids with skis on. So, the patrollers have to wander over on a regular basis and say "no, sledging is over there", and have, on at least two occasions to my knowledge, had people arrested. So, if you wanted to snowskate or noboard where I work, you'd have to hike up; once there, there's nothing that can be done. Have a nice day, enjoy the snow, but don't expect to be able to use the lifts, and most certainly don't hurt yourself because being rescued is expensive. Even if you have a valid lift pass, and a valid insurance, because you've hiked up with "disallowed" equipment, your insurance is void, and you will be required to pay. Simon

I like slalom decks. 9m radius or so. Nervous, turny, and you can crank them hard at lowish speeds. Hard to EC on them, of course. What I like most is being able to lay down 15 turns where a bigger deck might lay down 5, and having a radius small enough to enable you to carve donuts even on not-massively-wide slopes. There's also the issue that the speed required to make a GS board perform to its max is close to / exceeding the speed limit after which my balls retract into my abdomen :) Simon

I've ridden an 04/05 speedcross 165 (a friend's board) for a few days, it's a bloody good all-mountain board. No, it's not a balls-out carving machine like <insert alpine board of choice here>, but it can be carved easily, it withstands being carved hard (or at least, the one I tried did, I weigh 80 kilos or so) - certainly better than my Burton rock board, which folds the nose as soon as you start driving. On the other hand, it's physical to ride hard, tight sidecut and wide board means you do have to work if you're pushing. The one I tried had an almost identical sidecut to my Blast 160SL, in comparison the Blast was significantly easier to push to the edge (but that may have something to do with stance and angles as well as board width, I didn't bugger about with the settings on the F2) It handled crud, chop and moguls with relative ease (something the Hot doesn't like overly much at all), and wasn't out of its depth (or rather, buried, nose down, at full depth) in the fluff like a full-on raceboard tends to get without careful handling. That said, I have no experience with the Donek or Generics boards, so a direct comparison is out, but I really liked the one I tried; hell, if I had the money it would be in with a shot for being my "not perfectly groomed days" board. As it is, I'm stuck with skis or my rock board for those days. Bah. Simon

Oh no. Kids. Okay, so this one isn't slope related, but it's funny too. My oldest son started ice hockey a few years back, aged 4. Obviously, first season, so he's crap, can barely stand up let alone chase the puck particularly well, but hey. The club here's really good, though; for the kids it's not a question of skill but a question of determination that gets them onto the team for tournaments and matches. So, aged 4, his first tournament. First real match. And he has *absolutely no idea* of what's going on. Whenever anyone scores, he's cheering, stick raised , "YAAAAY, GOAAAAAL". Which is kinda funny, cause it's mainly the other team doing the scoring. All through the match, he's been out-speeded and out manouvered by the bigger kids, he's not touched the puck once, but he's sticking with it. He's a fighter, I'll give him that. So, just before the end of the match, the other team score (again), and for once, he's pretty close to the action. All the other kids are heading off toward the centre for the faceoff, but he's determined. He's gonna hit that puck. You could see the determination on his face as he waddled towards it. But he gets to the puck at the same time as the referee (a kid of 14 or so from one of the higher level teams). But he's gonna hit that puck, referee or no referee. Gives a hefty swing of his stick and - thwap! on the referee's fingers. And suddenly, the ref is skating about, screaming some really rather indelicate phrases and shaking his hand to stop it hurting. You know when you are on the point of laughing so hard you think you're going to ****, but you know you shouldn't, because there's a kid there in a world of hurt? That was one of those moments. Simon