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OT: For all you Star Wars Freaks


Guest Randy S.

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Episode 1:

- Annoying lizard is annoying.

- Anakin plays Wipeout XL. "I don't care what galaxy you're from - that's gotta hurt!"

- Anakin accidentally massacres enemies. "Oops! Wizard!"

- Annoying lizard accidentally massacres enemies.

- Some idiot with self-esteem problems and overcompensating "tough guy" tattoos and horns rips off Jet Li and Jackie Chan. Dude, give it a rest and hang up the trenchcoat. The H2 is the low self-esteem accessory now that you're not in high school anymore, and taking karate and riding your motorcycle without a helmet doesn't make you any cooler.

Episode 2:

- Stuff blows up.

- Anakin rides giant animal made of dung; falls off. Crazy facepaint lady likes this.

- Two guys with capes look for stuff on different planets in a confusing jumble of really bad wipes.

- Anakin and crazy facepaint lady play Super Mario Brothers, in the intermittent flame and crusher level. Jump over the spikey pit, Mario! Now get the mushroom!

- Yoda and Dookoo play Warcraft, except instead of orcs they have robots and people, and instead of humans they have robots and people.

- Yoda rips off Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

Episode 3 projection (0% precincts reporting):

- Anakin knocks up crazy facepaint lady.

- Crazy facepaint lady decides she likes cats more than Anakin.

- Anakin freaks and throws a jealous temper tantrum; turns into robot (forgets to install lasers and rocket pods).

- Space fight.

- Crazy facepaint lady gives birth to babies; staples danishes to the head of one; other baby too whiny to accept danish stapling.

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Guest Randy S.

Hey KJL, I'd like to see you make a better movie.

Ooops, you already did. Sorry.

FYI, KJL supposedly works for Pixar and makes cool movies. I've watched the credits before though, and never seen any lines about a carver named Ken. Unfortunately Pixar usually gets really busy in the winter so he has to work instead of riding. F'ing deadlines stink.

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Go watch The Incredibles tomorrow! ;) I think I'm under "Lighting" as a sequence lead or something.

FWIW, I just do lighting and effects, so when I bag on the story of Episodes 1 and 2 and almost assuredly 3, it's just my non-professional opinion... although from a scientific standpoint, I have in fact measured Episodes 1 and 2 on the suck-o-meter, and they rate pretty darn high.

Anakin to crazy facepaint lady: "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth."

Seriously?! That passes as dialogue these days? Hire a writer!

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KJL and others, you are suffering from PTED - Post Traumatic Ewok Disorder.

At some point between Empire and Jedi, George Lucas must have slipped in his shower, bonked his noodle and realized two movies too late that the Star Wars saga was supposed to be kid friendly. Thus, the Ewoks were born and you know the rest.

The cure for this affliction is pure denial. Simply pretend they don't exist, and enjoy the movie for the rest of the story. It's not that hard to do.

However, after the abomination otherwise known as Jar Jar Binks, George surely got what was coming to him. Jar Jar was nearly eliminated from Episode II, and the movie was way less kid friendly, and certainly much cooler than Episode I.

Now, George has surely taken heat for all the froofy stuff in Ep II, and the cheezy lines he gave Anakin. The Imax version of the movie dispensed with the schmaltzy flirt scenes in the dung-beast pastures. Hopefully that bodes well for Ep III.

I liked the trailer. Can't wait to see how the Anakin-to-Darth morph is executed. I'm also happy to simply get excited for yet another Star Wars movie. As with the previous two films, I'm just going to make up my mind that I'm going to love it, and all will be right in the galaxy.

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KJL's review sounds eerily akin to the "Movie-a-minute" features on www.rinkworks.comwww.rinkworks.com. At least in style.

However, I agree with KJL's points - the trailer didn't blow me away. Episodes I and II left much to be desired. Jar Jar Binks should die a painful (but quick) death in the first 5 minutes of Ep. III.

I also agree with Jack - just pretend some scenes are not there. Enjoy what's left . . .

I also know I'll be seeing it in the first or second day it comes out - just like Episode I and II . . .

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This question is for KJL.

Yeah I just saw the incredibles, a great funny movie, I really enjoyed it. I am 3d animator trying to reach the real world of 3d animation. I was just wondering if I could ask you a question regarding on Pixar's equipment?

I notice at the end of the film credits I saw that the CPU and rendering was done with Intel chips. Which is not a surprise to me. I was arguing with a fellow animator that told me that Pixar is all Mac x servers and have been for a long time because of Steve jobs. I disagree with this, because I know for a while renderman was only PC base and in the past Pixar uses SGI computers. The same for Maya. It was available for the mac until 3.5.

I am sure now Pixar is starting to swtich over to the G5 dual X-severs, but are still using PC base computers.

Could you shake some light on this.

:(

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Heya. We used to use SGI desktops for our animation/TD work and had a gigantic Sun renderfarm to do the rendering for film. Right now everything is on Intel running Linux - we work on them and render on an intel/linux renderfarm. I have heard rumors about moving to OSX but I don't know what's going on with that - I don't know if they are just thinking about it or already working on the ports...

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I just saw The Incredibles yesterday, and I can easily say it is the best animated film I have ever seen. I'm not a fan of animated films in general, but this one rocks!!! Everything is good, the story, the style, the images. The feeling I got was that the final product has the feel of claymation (meaning: realistic textures) with the image quality of cgi. And I have never seen hair look so realistic in animated film.

I highly recommend this movie.

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