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Summer Road Kill!

Shred Gruumer

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1. Carpet beater.

2. Slippers.

3. Back scratcher.

4. Javelin.

5. Baseball bat.

6. Rug.

7. Golf club.

8. Feed one to the ducks in the local pond.

9. Athletics 'hammer'.

10. Christmas present.

11. Speed humps.

12. Walking stick.

13. Snooker cue.

14. Bog brush.

15. Substitute loo roll.

16. Scarf.

17. Pin cushion.

18. Cut off the feet and use them as ink wells.

19. Tie some horse hair between the front and back legs to make a violin bow.

20. Pillow.

21. Bath sponge.

22. Hat.

23. Umbrella pole.

24. Greyhound racetrack 'hare'.

25. Cat's eyes in the road.

26. Heavy duty fly swatter.

27. Padding for ice hockey players.

28. Towel.

29. Create a nice little water feature for the garden.

30. 'Pin the tail on the cat'.

31. Kicking stand for rugby balls.

32. ricket bat.

33. Conductor's baton.

34. Shield.

35. Arrow.

36. Cut off the tail and use as a quill.

37. Conversation piece for the coffee table.

38. Airplane chocks.

39. Backpack.

40. Wear it on your head and run round shouting, "I'm covered in cat hair!!".

41. Use two dead cats to make a pair of gloves.

42. Fire poker.

43. Luge.

44. Kneeling pad.

45. Novelty draught excluder.

46. Use one to suffocate your enemies.

47. Partly bury, head first, in the ground... now you have a firework launching pad!

48. Barbecue fuel.

49. After a short time it can be used as a redneck air freshener.

50. Prop in sanitary towel adverts.

51. Dog food.

52. Run electrical wire through it to make a decorative lamp stand.

53. Door stop.

54. Oven mitt.

55. A 'conversation piece' in the living room when you have people over you really don't like.

56. Practice for that brother that's learning taxidermy.

57. Give it to a cat lover >:)

58. Use the head as a disposable tennis ball at picnics.

59. Put one in the middle of the road to make speeding drivers feel bad.

60. Use them for traction when your car gets stuck in the snow.

61. A goose emulator.

62. Halloween decoration.

63. Put it in your teacher's trunk or under the car seat.

64. Put on desk chair of co-worker who takes credit for something you did.

65. Flatten out, dry it and use as a frisbee.

66. Smack the neighbours.

67. Food for the homeless.

68. Drop them by the thousands on France and Iraq.

69. Bookend.

70. Toupee.

71. Stuffing for Beanbag chair.

72. Seasoning.

73. Bake into a meatloaf and give it to in-laws.

74. Top 100 of them along with 100 dead dogs from an airplane onto a trailer park so when the rednecks there say "it's raining cats and dogs" they will actually be right.

75. Sew 3-4 together and give to spouse as a anniversary gift.

76. Coffee Table.

77. Sympathy vote at parties.

78. Keeping the flies off your marmite.

79. New superhero - "Exkittytron".

80. Position over your face to protect the small micro-organisms that exist in your beard.

81. Shave it, stick the fur all over you, then say you're part cat.

82. Tea cosy.

83. Scarecrow for very dumb birds.

84. Measure the circumference of a room by swinging it.

85. Lure for a live dog.

86. Put in the garden borders for repelling rabbits.

87. A small child's bike.

88. Your dad's a what?!

89. Attach to a long wooden pole and use to sweep chimneys.

90. Throw at bears in a zoo.

91. Burn and use as fertilizer.

92. Use as antenna ball.

93. Soak up blood at crime scenes.

94. Large paintbrush.

95. Bury it in your backyard, give it an elaborate tombstone, and claim that it haunts your house.

96. Use to decorate your high-tech laser.

97. Taxiderm it and display in your window all year round.

98. Taxiderm it and place on your couch for when guests come over.

99. Bury it.

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