photodad2001 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 What do you do to a drummer who's lost one of his drum sticks? Put him up front and have him wave his arms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 What's the definition of a half-step? 2 oboes playing in unison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 What's the difference between a violin and a viola? There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? The Ohio River. (or) Nobody minds if you spill beer on a fiddle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Husband says to wife, "When I get you home I'm gonna play you like a fiddle!" Wife says to husband, "I'd rather you play me like a harmonica!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCrimson Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Ever wonder what a score REALLY says? Wave hands until music stops Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 (don't take offense, but it's how I know the joke...) What is a burning oboe good for? Setting a bassoon on fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCrimson Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Yeah, I'm really offended by that, jackass. :lol: Why did they make the opening to a storm drain so big? So you it fit a viola AND it's owner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derf Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 I played some electric bass also. I learned by myself with my high school music book (for the flute, wikipedia calls it a recorder) and some bass tablature. I was not good, but I enjoyed it. My musical theory is absent. My father, on the other hand, was a professional musician for over twenty years until 1980 (he played piano, synth, organ, keyboards). He started playing music again when he retired five years ago. He knows a lot regarding music theory and arrangements. It's hard for him to find some music he likes because he feels everything he hears is the same and has been done before (at least in popular music). He's not into classical music, more into jazz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCrimson Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 It's equally correct to call a Recorder a flute, but you'll get looked at funny for saying that. Other than calling them a Recorder, a term that you can use, if I recall correctly (someone tell me if I'm not..) is the Fipple Flute. I actually really enjoy playing my recorders. I got the highest quality Yamaha plastic models, and they sound great. I didn't go for wood because caring for 8 feet of maple in my bassoon is enough for me. Recorders are nice in that you don't really need to tune them much, they are simple (not 8 keys for 1 thumb, plus a whisper lock if there's one on there like on a bassoon) and you don't really need to do anything other than crack open the case, put them together, and play. The occasional lubrication of the joints is necessary on a wooden model, or plastic ones with good tolerances, i.e. the Yamahas, and obviously pushing a cleaning rod through so they don't get skanky inside. I have the technical dimensions for a recorder, and I'd like to turn some aluminum on a lathe to make up the larger sections of the recorder, and press fit the outermost portion of the head onto a piece of aluminum. I wonder how it would sound, perhaps like those brass clarinets which everyone jams candles in? Almost forgot, I have an ANCIENT fife, but it sounds beautiful. When I first found it, helping my grandmother unpack some stuff, I thought it was a tiny curtain rod or something, but then I realized what it was! It's made of solid silver, and tarnishes like nobody's business, so I keep it in a plastic bag with oxygen absorbers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Yeah, I'm really offended by that, jackass. :lol: Just trying to walk lightly. I've gotten a warning from the high counsel. Joke: 2 Indians (Native Americans) are sitting around a campfire at night. One of them sits up and says, "Ug, listen". They both sit up and listen. In the distance drums can be heard. The first Indian says, "Drums bad. Drums very, very bad." He sits there for a while then says again... "Drums bad. Drums very, very bad." The other Indian looks over and says, "Why drums bad?". The first Indian looks back and says.... "Drums bad. Bass solo come after drum solo!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derf Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 I wasn't sure about calling it a recorder since English is not my main language (I speak French). In French, we call it a "flûte à bec", so that's why I called it a flute. I really hated playing it in my obligatory music course in high school. My father felt bad when he spoke to the teatcher and told her he was a professional musician. About an aluminium recorder, I don't know. I know the material changes the sound of instruments, especially stringed instruments since these instruments rely on the resonance of the body to make a sound, but I don't know how it would affect a wind instrument. My father was given recently an old trumpet by someone. Before playing keyboards, he played the trumpet in his high school marching band. He says he needs to fix or clean the pistons so it sounds good again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingCrimson Posted May 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 The aluminum recorder would simply be for laughs. Although, it might hold an edge better.. Flute a bec, I believe would mean "flute with a beak," which is exactly correct. Trumpet piston cleaning and lubrication is obviously no problem. Now, if they're REALLY stuck, or somehow (I honestly don't know how one can break a trumpet valve) broken, that's a problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photodad2001 Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 The aluminum recorder would simply be for laughs. Penny whistle? (Tin whistle) <object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRdaiuF2f4I&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRdaiuF2f4I&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnisiWaya Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Pdad i think you win the prize for the best of thread for May. any nay sayers? KC and I reserve fnnal vote on this as Tis is our thread but than k you al for coming with us on this journey GWS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotts.Scheinman Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 Bassoon, Cello, String Bass, Electric Bass...I didn't get a date till I picked up the last of those :D I took 10 years of theory and never could get anything but frustration out of it... But I'll tell you this - chicks in tight leather skirts will flock to the Bass player...even in a crappy garage band :biggthump:biggthump:biggthump stick with music...it will change your life ive been a bass player for almost 9 years:biggthump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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