Allee Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Have you guys seen Hitch (movie with Will Smith)? It's all about what guys should be doing, and about what women want. Pretty funny. This, to me, is the big thing with relationships. What women want. What men want. I think that if you find a life partner in your 20's you're very very lucky. Because it seems that until you figure out what YOU want, anyone you hook up with is going to bust their hump to give it to you, for nothing. Which is enough to make the best of us bitter. And it takes a lot of people a very long time to figure it out. Girls (and guys, if you're that way inclined) - I read a great book called "Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts". Apart for some hyperbole about the power of the pussy (which really was a bit OTT) this was the theme of the book. I read it and wondered why women would have to be told this stuff ... it seems so self explanatory. Take a trip to the library sometime ... as self help books go, it's fun ... Anyway, back to recent developments in auditing for me ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdgang Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Well I need to join this thread now...I started dating my wife in my mid twenties and as in the previous post I was lucky enough to find my life partner early in life. But I have come to one conclusion women do know what they want but instead of telling us (men) outright they make us guess at it untill we get it. I dont think they(women) do it intentionally but learn it growing up. But I guess married life would be as fun if my wife actually told me what she wanted then there would be no fights and if there where no fights then there would be no make-up #$%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Here's my theory: You are definitely lucky if you find your soul mate early in life. However, I do think it's rare. I believe what happens to a lot of couples is they meet at a young age, want to get married and "do the right thing" - plus they are in lust or they are in love. They get married and have kids, let's say after a year or two, and spend the next 20 years raising their children. In this 20 years they are growing and trying hard to become the person they will be, but are being influenced (not a negative word here)by their spouse. Now, sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. If you are truly with your soul mate, then it's good. You grow together and are happy as clams when you reach 60+. If you are not, then this is bad. You have grown, but once the kids are gone and out of the house you wake up one day, look at your spouse, and say "who are you?". You then are not the same person that you were 20 years ago, and neither is your SO. However, because you have been married/together for so long you think "why should I start over now" or "I'm here, I guess I have to deal with it". I agree with Allee that maybe women don't know what they want for themselves, and their SO spends all their life trying to make them happy for nothing because the person doesn't know how to make themselves happy. People settle for what they have, instead of going for what they want. This is where you see men/women in their "mid life crisis". Sometimes it is just a person freaking out, but sometimes it is all about them not knowing who they are anymore, but yet trying to please everyone. Just doesn't work. If you are still with your soul mate, the "mid life crisis" can be harmless. Maybe a sports car, pick up a new crazy sport like Snowboarding, etc. If you are not, it can be devestating. I ENVY those of you who have found your soul mate early in life, and have been able to spend your entire life with them! Maybe I'm just pessimistic in my old age. Whew, that's a lot for a Wed morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 I think I'd rather do anything, like go snowboarding, watch a movie, eat, play videogames, cut out my own liver and eat it, or even, god forbid, eat vegetables or read a book, than go to a bar and try out lines like that :D That seems like a great way to get punched in the face, or to be overcome with the desire to wash the dirtiness off my hands. Kjl, you are so funny! I was just in NYC and met the SLIMIEST guys in this bar! They used every line in the book and when those didn't work, they just came right out and said "so, want to go back to my place?" It gave me the creeps so badly I had to go to my happy place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allee Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 That reminds me of a friend of mine when we were at the bar, many years ago, and this guy rocks up to her and says "so, ya wanna go back to my place and sit on my face?" She looks a him like he's a dog turd, takes a swig of her drink and coolly replies ... "why, do you not have furniture?" Still one of the funniest things I have ever heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 you mean to tell me pick up lines don't work!? What have I been wasting my time with all these years!!!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 I love using pick up lines!!!! Some of my favorite quotations (not necessarily pick up but whatever): If heaven had a height, you would be that tall. Never stop smiling because you never know who may be falling in love with your smile. If you want to know where your heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? I am not going to tell you that I can't live without you, because I can. I just don't want to. (The Graduate) I believe that everyone has a right to their own religion. Be it Hindo, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal saviour. (Steven Colbert, White House Correspondents' Association annual dinner) Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more. The widespread use of silicone implants by women and Viagra by men in the United States, one may remark, has almost turned the nation into one where artificially enhanced women are being chased by artificially aroused men! (Jagdish Bhagwati- In Defense of Globalization) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Gendzwill Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 I ENVY those of you who have found your soul mate early in life, and have been able to spend your entire life with them!I think the concept of soul mate is a load of goods that's been sold to the public by Hollywood. Longterm relationships are what you make of them. There's any number of people out there that you can make a good marriage with, so long as you both are willing to put the effort in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Agreed. But sometimes people are with the "wrong" people, ones that don't fulfill them in some way (or many ways) but they settle for it because they either don't know better, think that's the way it should be, or don't want to bother. These people tend to be unhappy and reflect that on to their SO in some shape or form. I used the term "soul mate" to describe the person that complements you in every way, the person you can't wait to see every day, and your best friend. I know there's a lot more to it than that, but sometimes you have to bring it back down to basics. And even though it is a lot of work, it shouldn't be a job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Dahl Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 I used the term "soul mate" to describe the person that complements you in every way, the person you can't wait to see every day, and your best friend. I know there's a lot more to it than that, but sometimes you have to bring it back down to basics. And even though it is a lot of work, it shouldn't be a job. I will buy that if you mean they "fill in the gaps" so to speak in the relationship. My wife is a real gem, but she doesn't snowboard or ski. She does love the outdoors, so we have opportunities to share that 3 seasons. She gardens, my definition of yard work involves a weedeater and a mower. I'd pave it all if I was single. We are the checks and balances for each other. We are not the same, or identical in our interests. We do share the same faith and hope, and that is very important, too. That is how I see "complements". I also want to say something about love. As used by the average person today, it covers a whole lotta territory. I think the Greeks had the best idea. They used three words for love, eros for physical attraction, phileo (sp?) for brotherly type feelings, and agapeo for principled self-sacrificing love, which is based on doing the best for someone even if they do not deserve it. Most relationships lack this basic principle of looking out for the other person, even if it wont benifit you, at least at first. Everyone changes as they go through life, and without some self-sacrifice, a relationship will fail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack M Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 I always wanted to try: "don't I know you from the cinematographer's party?" But yes Michelle, I know a guy (actually we all know him!) who has scored with more 10's than he can remember just by asking them point blank if they want to get out of here and go f***. Apparantly 10's don't get approached that often and are as randy as senior boys at the prom! Who knew?!? Not me!!! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 But yes Michelle, I know a guy (actually we all know him!) who has scored with more 10's than he can remember just by asking them point blank if they want to get out of here and go f***. Apparantly 10's don't get approached that often and are as randy as senior boys at the prom! Who knew?!? Not me!!! :( Oh, now you have me thinking as to who that could be...... But ok, he's scored and had one night stands with 100s of chicks. But where does that get him? What kind of relationship does he want in his life? Oh wait, it's bragging rights with you guys. Girls are different. Hmmmm, don't know if that's better for him or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobdea Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 Longterm relationships are what you make of them. There's any number of people out there that you can make a good marriage with, so long as you both are willing to put the effort in. so, you wanna send a letter to a friend of mine explaining this? she likes Canada so maybe she would listen to a Canadien Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinecure Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 The Cost of Marriage On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank. She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 31, 2006 Report Share Posted May 31, 2006 :lol::lol: who comes up with these things? skipuppy, that line from colbert report is on my top 100 of favorite quotes by him. a guy who has been with scores of 10s is equal to a girl that bangs rich guys. Its about at the same level i think. Girls are not that much different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carvedog Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 The Cost of Marriage "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!" That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. :lol: Sinecure- that was pretty funny. My wife is still asleep and I had to work pretty hard not to wake her up. The harder I tried not to laugh - didn't work, and then I almost choked on my chuckle. My eyes are still watering. An old joke that this made me remember. A nice dressed guy walks up to a very attractive young lady and point blank says, "You are gorgeous, I want to have sex with you, if I give you a million bucks will you sleep with me?" The girl looks rather stunned and sizes up the guy for a minutes and then says "Yes I'll take you up on your offer". Then he says, "You are gorgeous, I want to have sex with you, but I really only have a hundred bucks, will that work?" Incensed she exclaims, "No way, what kind of girl do you think I am?" He says, "We have already established that, now we are just haggling over price." Have a good day everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 i think thats how my parents met =P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack M Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Oh, now you have me thinking as to who that could be......But ok, he's scored and had one night stands with 100s of chicks. But where does that get him? What kind of relationship does he want in his life? Oh wait, it's bragging rights with you guys. Girls are different. Hmmmm, don't know if that's better for him or not. LOL - I don't think it was bragging rights he was after. I didn't say that to say that he "wins", just to point out that girls do respond to pick up lines, and are easier than we might think. I'll never forget the time I saw Alicia Silverstone on Letterman. Dave said "so you must have boys just lining up to date you, right?" and she sheepishly replied, "no, I don't have a boyfriend, nobody calls me." That's because we guys just assume that all hot chicks are taken! Not always true, fellas!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted June 1, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 though i object to the whole "she's a 10" bit... Jack is right about one thing... if you're an attractive, confident, woman... the only people brave enough to ask you out at crazies. LOL in seriousness... my friends have asked "whoa, why did you say yes to go out with THAT guy?"... as in, they didn't approve of said guy's looks, personality, etc... my reply was always "because he asked. why not?" :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Gendzwill Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 though i object to the whole "she's a 10" bit... Jack is right about one thing... if you're an attractive, confident, woman... the only people brave enough to ask you out at crazies. LOLSo why aren't the attractive, confident women asking the guys out? Or are they? I've been out of the dating game for over 20 years, but it seems that the pressure is all on the guy to initiate things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 So why aren't the attractive, confident women asking the guys out? Or are they? I've been out of the dating game for over 20 years, but it seems that the pressure is all on the guy to initiate things. it seems like thats just the way it is. Although i been with a few aggressive girls and it suprized the hell out of me when they say, "hey, you should come over tomorrow night." or something like that. Rare, but its defintly nice. Girls are more afraid of rejection than guys are. Thats what i think in my short time out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carvedog Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Girls are more afraid of rejection than guys are. Thats what i think in my short time out there. I thought that was a guy thing.To be rejected I mean. In seven years of marriage I think I have turned my wife down twice and that was due to incapacitating rib injury once and just hella tired the other time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 So why aren't the attractive, confident women asking the guys out? Or are they? I've been out of the dating game for over 20 years, but it seems that the pressure is all on the guy to initiate things. Not always, I got the hard sell from a very attractive woman last saturday while shopping at Trader Joes. Maybe she liked what I was buying but it was weird for me as monday was my 13th Anniversary. I said no thank you and finished shopping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Maybe there are a lot of women afraid of rejection, but there are a lot more guys insecure about a woman asking them out. I think most men are afraid of independent, confident women. (notice I said "most). Most men want someone they can take care of, and who will let them. The women that can stand on their own and want to be equals fall into the same category as the attractive ones - they don't get asked out because men are afraid for one reason or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allee Posted June 1, 2006 Report Share Posted June 1, 2006 Most men want someone they can take care of, and who will let them. I don't agree. In my experience, guys want someone to serve. That's their purpose in life - to be the breadwinner, the provider, your big strong protector, and earn your undying adulation in the process. So actually, you're the girl in charge. Play it right and they do everything you ask and more, and with a smile on their face. It's good to be independent, but there's a line between being independent, and being prickly to the point of driving guys away. Watch a guy's reaction when you flirt madly with him. When you bat your eyelids and hang off his every word. It's not a lifestyle choice, but it makes your night (and his). Guys? Am I not right? And if I met a cute guy (and wasn't attached), I'd ask him out. What's the worst he can do? Say no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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