Rusty Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 Noah---No big party in NH this year...there's been some good ones though. I do miss my little house and family sometimes but it's really really nice out here. Aisling---In the eternal words of Michelle...Once again Aisling,promises promises... :D There's a Sixflags out here too...I'm just saying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 12, 2006 Report Share Posted May 12, 2006 skatha... i am not an overly demanding high maintenance beeyotch... thats the thing.. he kept ASSUMING that i would suddenly decide that i needed to see him every day or talk to him every day. i don't need that... i'm very independent and enjoy time with friends and time alone... i NEVER asked him to call me every day... he just projects that because of females he knows that do that. and when i pointed out that i've never been like that he couldn't say that i was... he said that i "would be" though... only time i got pissed and it became an argument was when he said he'd call me back and i didn't hear from him for days. he agreed he was wrong... but he takes that my being mad over that means i can't deal with him being so busy. he just doesn't get it or refuses to get it... either way...commitment phobia... its a damned shame. goes back to my original summation of guys are either up your ass (not literally) or commitment phobes. Kinda sounds like my first husband, he was really keen on the pursuit(phone calls, flowers, etc) then really didn't know how to follow through. He also is great in a crisis, but calm waters spell trouble. He went looking for excitement when our relationship got "established". Now he's in Iraq, sees his current wife every 3 months or so...of course, she flies to China or Nigeria frequently too so it works out fine for them. You can't tell him to prioritize, he's got to figure that of his own. Maybe his 2 weeks away made him a bit more appreciative of you(it's cold out there in the big bad world)..... Giving somebody 110% hmmmmmm.....I can't say I've ever had a thought like that. My kids got the time they needed when they were little, and now... Sam gets his time.... I need more of Sam's time now that I'm lame post op(hard to let somebody help).... It's like a yin-yang symbol...some parts there's more white, some parts there's more black, but together it's a whole pattern...... My job's important and working makes me feel good, but I work to provide for my family and to have fun, work is not all encompassing...maybe it's because I'm 42 and have already lost collegues and friends to work stress.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 15, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 yeah well i hope it doesn't take him til his in his 40s or 50s to realize. i know i can't tell a person to prioritize, i just can't see the logic at all. i think everyone needs to read Tuesdays with Morrie. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 oh so you would be planning on taking him back. That is true love right there. I always figured exactly what the rolling stones say. You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time, you get what you need. For years now, i've believed that. For the most part, most things work out for the best. I hope that will be true with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantheman0177 Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 i think everyone needs to read Tuesdays with Morrie. LOL I concur! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skipuppy Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 Morrie taught at my school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 Come on now...cut me a bit of slack, it's not even open yet. Besides you're supposed to let me know when...I'm going to A-basin on Sat. to play in the slush with a couple of friends...BBQ/beers in the parking lot...you know the drill. Wanna go? Give me a ring. P.S. I'm going home over memorial day...might be able to grab some more wine. Yes, and you said you would call if you were going to the Basin on the weekend. But a bit of slack cut. If you are up and want to hang out just give me a jingle. I'll be riding my bike or finishing the paint in my living room. Sorry I didn't get this until today, don't know what's wrong with the email updates. Must talk to the webmaster...... Are you going up this weekend? Wish I had a pass. If you are grabbing more wine over MEM day weekend tell your mom it was Fabulous!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 Good god, sounds like a psycho...... Unfortunately, with age also comes emotional baggage(at times)...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 Good god, sounds like a psycho......Unfortunately, with age also comes emotional baggage(at times)...... 2 different people, but always the same M.O. with most men. Baggage -YES. And unfortunately now they have passed the trust baggage on to me. We all have it, but at the very least you could acknowledge it and warn people. JEEZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 I think then, it's time to be true to yourself and stop worrying about these dweebs' feelings.... Once I had gotten over my ex-, and I mean like that little voice that said "Carl used to talk/walk/etc. just like that..." I was definitely a better date-stay away from the guys you see doing the same thing(as in keeping their ex-'s memory afresh in their daily lives) Maybe just focus on "being friends" with some guys? Don't worry about guys ever "just considering you a friend"-they have too many hormones to really think that way for long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 unfortunately the last 3 guys I have dated I was friends with first. And we were great friends during as well. I guess you always think you are. Maybe that's what makes it worse - friends always have a bit more trust with each other than lovers. I know relationships are a bit of work. Shouldn't ever be this hard. This stuff hurts to the core. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Hmmmmm..... well, maybe---and this is just a suggestion.....have a girlfriend or a family member set you up.....the reason-you get a fairly objective assessment of both you and a potential beau's strengths and weaknesses...... another thing to consider...a dating service.... I met Sam thru one, and, yes, I met some losers too, but there are honest people out there.... Sam and I got matched because of the fact we both we're divorced, with kids, active and liked the outdoors.... We spent 2 months emailing and phoning before our first date. We spent 4 1/2 hours talking at a restaurant on our first date...it was like we already knew each other... Just a thought..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 michelle feel free to email me if you want to talk about anything you don't want to post open forum ... but yes, you try and not repeat the same mistakes and yes you try to believe in people and not let your own worry and trust issues cloud things... but then you get slammed anyway. similar thing happened to my best friend... i dunno .. i can't take anymore... so i think i'm just going to stick my head in the oven (i kid.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinecure Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 This thread is getting too depressing...let's get back to some fun. It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5 a father 6. a master 7 a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring beer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 This thread is getting too depressing...let's get back to some fun. Isn't that why this thread started in the first place? Funny how it is always the women posting on here with issues with men. With the population of this forum being 99% male, either you guys don't have any issues with women or you're just not talking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 michelle feel free to email me if you want to talk about anything you don't want to post open forum... but yes, you try and not repeat the same mistakes and yes you try to believe in people and not let your own worry and trust issues cloud things... but then you get slammed anyway. similar thing happened to my best friend... i dunno .. i can't take anymore... so i think i'm just going to stick my head in the oven (i kid.) Thanks Aisling - right back at cha. Seems like we meet a lot of the same people in our circles. And please don't stick your head in the oven until you email me. I want to be there with you. :) My question is, HOW DO YOU KNOW? How do you know that the next person is not going to do the same thing, or something similar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 My question is, HOW DO YOU KNOW? How do you know that the next person is not going to do the same thing, or something similar? you don't. But if you wallow in doubt about everyone, you will never the ones who are good. Unfortunately, Sometimes you have to Let down your gaurd, risk getting hurt, and hope for the best, and remember that your friends are still there to support you if it doesn't work, and if it does...all is still good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Oh thanks NOah, that makes me feel much better - makes me WANT to go out and try it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 If any one of us had the answer to that question we'd be able to stop working and carve, with the occasional lecture on the side... so unfortunately, like so many other things we learn in life, Trial and error seems to be the best choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 Well, the reason i'm staying problem free is because I'm staying clear of getting into a relationship. Summer relationships are the best, its one way to make a summer unforgetable but no time at all. I'll be lucky to get to the beach in june and most of july. Now, off to my last class of the day :-\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ncermak Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 ah yes...but you are young, grasshopper... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skatha Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 This thread is getting too depressing...let's get back to some fun.It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5 a father 6. a master 7 a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY 1. Show up naked 2. Bring beer And this is a problem? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gleb Posted May 17, 2006 Report Share Posted May 17, 2006 ah yes...but you are young, grasshopper... tis true and I do have alot to learn. I hope to learn more from observing than trial and error. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aisling Posted May 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 its not just you Michelle. plenty of very stable, smart, wonderful women AND men i've known have fallen into bad relationships... or gotten into one with someone who seemed normal but went ape**** crazy. its not just women who fall for this, i have male friends who've dated women who've gone nuts too... seeing the craziness before it even begins? how does one do that? if all signs seem normal, how can you know? seems that someone is taking something personally here and i, nor anyone else here, have named any names or made and personal attacks. we're all just venting here and i don't see that as a problem. if it's a problem then why has it been allowed to continue on? i think most of us here are just airing out stuff and we appreciate each other's "online" friendships. about the oven, i'll let ya know when it's good and warm, Michelle. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle Posted May 18, 2006 Report Share Posted May 18, 2006 Thanks for catching my back Aisling, and for the oven warming party. I just like getting other opinions about realtionships in general. How do you guys know I'm not just making all of this up, just to poke people? Change of Subject: Rusty, Tiki bar opens tomorrow! If you are coming up sometime soon, maybe we can enjoy and adult beverage together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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