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A Bomber Christmas Story


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'Twas the night before christmas and in every house

The carvers were typin' and clickin' the mouse

The boards were all waxed and beveled with care

In hopes of groomed cord we'd see from the chair

The boots were now fitted with custom footbeds

Some were in Raichles, others in Heads

My wife in her helmet, and I in my cap

Were looking at runs on a recent trail map

When out in the driveway I heard such a chatter,

Like an edge letting go on ice bump and batter

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Hoping my insurance would cover the crash.

A pack of white sled dogs was out on the snow

Chasing a rottweiler back and forth, to and fro

Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a rusty Ford truck, brimming with gear!

The sight of the Bomber logo gave me a kick

I instantly knew this was gonna be sick!

Hoping they'd brought me a wicked ride to tame

Any of many products I'd easily name:

A Donek! A Prior!

Nidecker! So bitchin'!

Mounted with TD's

(oh please, make 'em stepin)

"You guys are the best!" I yelled in heartwarming call

(Ya can't just go find this stuff down at the mall)

Just as I headed out to shake hands and say "hi"

They backed out of the driveway and started to fly!

Then up to the house-top went the Bomber crew,

In the truck full of toys, with Fin and Michelle too.

The Mooner was up there, jumping the roof

Inverted on teles (there goes your proof)

And then inside the house I heard a great sound

Down the chimney came Fin right after a hound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

(The dog's what I mean - Fin was covered in soot);

A quiver of decks he had slung on his back,

Shiny TrenchDigger bindings hanging out of his pack.

The tinkling of metal sounded great - so merry!

I wondered aloud how many he could carry

"I can't really say, a trade secret, y'know,

But buy a new pair - you'll ride ever so low!"

His goggles shone so brightly, he smiled showing teeth

A couple days stubble on his chin, underneath

The dog rolled on the floor, he scratched her white belly

She wriggled around like a bowlful of jelly

Soon Michelle yelled, "What are you doin' with yourself?

You can't just hang out here, like St. Nick's little elf!"

"She totally keeps the details in line," Fin said,

"There's so much to do - won't all fit in my head"

"We're cranking out product - fill orders at work,

And watching the forum, so no one's a jerk"

That's when he vanished from right under my nose

Leaving a bit of carve vibe, down to our toes

He jumped in the truck, to the dogs gave a whistle,

As they zoomed off the roof like a round from a pistol

And I heard them proclaim, driving off in the night,

"Deeper trenches for all, carve a rut, what a sight!"

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