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big mario

Virus 186 upm world cup gs, yours for the cost of shipping

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Essay contest closed, scroll down to see the winner

Now known  as the Karma board, just showed up on my front porch one day 3 or so years ago from Jose, aka Queequeg. Yours for the price of shipping, with one stipulation, you cannot sell it, you must pass it on to someone else with the ability to ride it once you are done with it. Like all virus's, it is big and  bad ass, with a  big secret clothoid side cut, but will turn nice and  tight and give you a nice rewarding ride if you treat it with respect, ride it with large gorilla balls, weigh over an1/8th of a ton, and pay attention. It'll spank you, and ride your ass if you don't.  I will post pics later when I am not feeling lazy, and if there is any interest. I only have room for 7 boards on my rack at the moment, and I am contemplating another purchase, in case you need to know why I am parting with , and offering such an outrageous deal.  Whomever can state their case best in essay form, and not dibs, gets this most excellent stick, local pick up preferred, though not mandatory.

Mario

 

Edited by big mario
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1 hour ago, big mario said:

...ride it with large gorilla balls...

 

The testicles come as part of the deal or you gotta supply your own?

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3 hours ago, lordmetroland said:

The testicles come as part of the deal or you gotta supply your own?

You could get implants!

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9 hours ago, big mario said:

Whomever can state their case best in essay form,

In light of the board wandering about in search of a home, I propose Iambic pentameter for the essay. 

8 hours ago, lordmetroland said:

The testicles come as part of the deal or you gotta supply your own?

What about that set of ersatz danglies under your Daihatsu?  

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21 hours ago, lordmetroland said:

The testicles come as part of the deal or you gotta supply your own?

supply your own.

I think you may have a problem there.

Mario

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24 minutes ago, big mario said:

I think you may have a problem there.

Au contraire, my white-loafer-and-Sansabelt-wearing friend, a convincing argument could be made that most of The World's problems are directly related to the presence of testicles, not their absence. I fondly reflect on my lengthy career in the soprano section of the Vienna Boys' Choir without even a hint of regret.

By the way, I pooped in your Yardland on Friday...

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I’m pretty fat, pretty poor, have a variety of UPM plates and will feed you if you’re on the east coast at any point.

need some flies tied? I can do that for you, I’m good at that. If you want to fish in western Maine I can show you around.

I’ll maybe need to ship it, maybe even have someone pick it up for me.

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Dear Karma Board,


Alpine carving tames the darkness within that is masked with humor, sarcasm, and a brutal exercise regime. Riding the Karma board will further this pursuit of alpine excellence as well as the "lipstick on a pig" game that I play. 


I promise to hold you and to love you, until we get on the snow. There, I promise to push you to the limit of my abilities...without lube. I promise not to sell you on ebay for drug or candy money unless I run out of chocolate.


There may be times that I am with other boards. Fear not, I am dedicated to my entire harem.


Love,
Erik J


PS I will source said gorilla testicles directly from China. I got a guy. He's been my go-to for anything testicle related for over 20 years. 
 

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6 hours ago, drschwartz said:

I promise not to break it, and if you ever break, I can fix you. Pass it on...

You'll need someone to make him lie still while you fix him. 😉

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Essay contest now closed, and the winner is...

Andy, aka Longboarder09!

thanks for your submissions, Erikj, you did not disappoint, your snarkasam almost put you over the top, well done as always!

Mario

 

 

 

 

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26 minutes ago, big mario said:

Essay contest now closed, and the winner is...

Andy, aka Longboarder09!

thanks for your submissions, Erikj, you did not disappoint, your snarkasam almost put you over the top, well done as always!

Mario

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much! The kindness and support of this community never ceases to amaze me. 

Please check PM

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Glad this board is going to the right person. 

Be well karma board.

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Wait a minute.  Where's the essay? How do we know the fix wasn't in... 🤨

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Whadda ya sayin' ova here? With all due respect, I take this assault  on my personal integrity rather insulting. As a former resident of the great state of NJ, I would expect more respect from you, capiche?😉

Andrew sent his essay to me via pm, and made the most convincing case, Eric, the most sick, amusing and twisted.

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On 5/10/2019 at 3:02 PM, big mario said:

Whadda ya sayin' ova here? With all due respect, I take this assault  on my personal integrity rather insulting. As a former resident of the great state of NJ, I would expect more respect from you, capiche?😉

Andrew sent his essay to me via pm, and made the most convincing case, Eric, the most sick, amusing and twisted.

 

So that's how it goes.  Like most Jersey "politics".  Closed door meetings, secret deals...  You can take the the boy out of Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the boy. :smashfrea  

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